Getting Back To Rainbows

The Lord put it on my heart that it was time to read the bible once again from beginning to end. Time to get His word fresh in my head and heart and be reminded of a few scriptures I can't seem to find, and Im sure hopeful I will come across some new discoveries. Something new I got stuck on was a verse in Genesis 6:3 Then the LORD said, "My Spirit will not contend with humans forever, for they are mortal; their days will be a hundred and twenty years." I got excited that there could be some hidden revelation and started texting my people..oh what could it mean?? Im sure the Lord was rolling His eyes at me when He revealed it means it took Noah 120 years to build the ark and then He flooded the earth. Ok, I felt like a doofus. The next couple of verses are worthy to be noted and pondered upon. After Noah built an altar to the Lord, Genesis 8:21 The LORD smelled the pleasing aroma and said in His heart: "Never again will I curse the ground because of humans, even though every inclination of the human heart is evil from childhood(Sad, I read this and think of the teenage girls Rachel Schoaf and Sheila Eddy that killed their "best friend" Skylar Neese) . And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I have done." After such a great event, I can just see the Lord deeply inhaling and with a deep sigh of compassion and heartbreak, I can only assume much after thought, make such a promise. Looking upon His original reason for flooding the earth, do you know how much love and discipline it would be to keep such a promise for a God that is so capable of such power, so worthy of righteousness, to hold back His hand from that kind of wrath ever again? We have got to be so much more evil and wicked than they ever were in Noah's time. People of that time could not even possibly carry out the wicked imaginations that we can today with the help of technology. I do intend to touch more on some personal revelations and end time prophecies surrounding the days of Noah but right now I just sense the Lord has been wanting us to understand the promise, how important and special it is, to appreciate the love that surrounds the symbol of the rainbow, to know it is something meant to be honored and is worthy, not to be defiled or mocked by the world.
The Lord goes on to say Genesis 9:4-6

4 “But you must not eat meat that has its lifeblood still in it. 5 And for your lifeblood I will surely demand an accounting. I will demand an accounting from every animal. And from each human being, too, I will demand an accounting for the life of another human being.

6 “Whoever sheds human blood,
by humans shall their blood be shed;
for in the image of God
has God made mankind.
Once again He is reminding us how important life is and how serious we need to be about it. He means what He says and we need to take it serious in our hearts. You've got two other scriptures to back up that promise. Mathew 26:52 those that fight by the sword will die by the sword. Our good old time favorite Galations 6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.
The thing that touched me the most is reading Genesis 9:12-16 ..12 Then God said, “I am giving you a sign of My covenant with you and with all living creatures, for all generations to come. 13 I have placed My rainbow in the clouds. It is the sign of My covenant with you and with all the earth. 14 When I send clouds over the earth, the rainbow will appear in the clouds, 15 and I will remember my covenant with you and with all living creatures. Never again will the floodwaters destroy all life. 16 When I see the rainbow in the clouds, I will remember the eternal covenant between God and every living creature on earth.” He keeps saying I WILL REMEMBER...no matter what you do, or what your children do, I am going to look at the rainbow, I am going to honor MY promise, even if you don't. THAT is unconditional love! THAT is a persevering love!

I love when the Lord is speaking because its not just only one person that gets the revealation, it becomes a theme across the land. That's when you know it's the Spirit of God speaking because its about checks and balances, and being intuned with one spirit, one mind, one truth. Pastor Joseph Prince was speaking from his heart about rainbows too recently and how he believes that at the time Jesus died on the cross there must have been a rainbow above Him because of the covenant (the promise), he shared Isaiah 54:9 "To me this is like the days of Noah, when I swore that the waters of Noah would never again cover the earth. So now I have sworn not to be angry with you, never to rebuke you again." After what I have read and shared with you, I can believe it too.


Your Creator loves you. He sent His Son Jesus to be the sacrifice for you. To take on all the wrath, pain, and anger for YOU! Don't let this FREE GIFT be in vain! If you do not know Jesus as your personal Savior and Lord, simply pray the following prayer in faith. Why? Because His Word says, "Whosoever shall call on the name of the Lord shall be saved" and "If you will confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus,and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved.(Acts 2:21; Romans 10:9) He said YOUR salvation would be the result of His HOLY SPIRIT giving YOU new birth by coming to live in you. (John 3:5-6, 15-16, Romans 8:9-11) There is nothing you can do to earn it, you will never be holy enough on your own, and you're not required to be. Simply pray believing, Father, in the name of Jesus, I ask You to come into my life and forgive me of all my sins. I confess my sins before You this day. I accept Jesus into my heart and as the Lord of my life. Thank You for saving me and helping me to understand Your love for me. I believe with my heart and I confess with my mouth that You rose Jesus from the dead. I am saved and that my righteousness is of you and not myself. I pray this prayer to the Father in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Possess My Being As A Vessel To Be Sanctified & Honored

I have to reflect on this because it does make me so happy that my husband is in the home and parenting his children more and more.(Its never too late! Children need their fathers! They never stop longing for their fathers! Trust me Im 37 and I can't wait for the fulfillment of this promise...Malachi 4:5-6 5“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet BEFORE the great and awesome day of THE LORD COMES. 6 And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers ....” Women you need to quite manipulating fathers as well! Good or bad! Do your part and let God do the rest! Let me share with you how.:) I see it as a direct answer to my prayers. All the changes, a reflection of my obedience and perseverance in FAITH and APPLICATION of Gods word, the development of more positive behaviors in myself, and learning how to understand my husbands needs, how he thinks and feels as a man, how to work towards operating in harmony with him, and WAIT on God to bring about the right changes. Yes, I said WAIT! Praise God if you've never had any issues with your man! Don't worry! Then Im not speaking to you! Hey! I first had to learn how to trust God and become the quiet and submissive wife. Like Joyce Meyer says, I tried it the worlds way and it never worked. 17 years of "discussing" that became nagging, that became screaming, yelling and fighting (James 4:2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.) He was a hard headed man....and because I could not figure out how to get what I wanted and needed from my husband, I, like the song sings...started looking for love in all the wrong places...looking for love in too many faces...even though that was not what I wanted to do deep down inside. God intervened so many times on so many levels until, like my re-occurring dream analysis stated.."I would be floored" Well, that became true as "I was floored". Hellen Keller stated, "discipline is the gateway through which knowledge enters the mind of a child." You ain't never too old for your Heavenly Father to lovingly discipline you as His child to get knowledge into you. I have now learned to embrace His discipline and allow it to draw me so close to Him and I love Him all the more for it! Mmmm....I don't even know if I can go on writing right now...I have to keep pausing because I am so overwhelmed by His mere presence as my heart wells up with deep love and appreciation for what He has done and all that He taught me. Through some time (it wasn't overnight)my husband didn't know how to deal with his own perspective on these issues...because I was a nagging, screaming, and what he considered demanding and controlling wife (come on ladies, I know you are hearing me on this) his heart became hard and he started dancing to the same tune and started looking for love in all the wrong places...looking for love in too many faces...although, there were other enticing and inspiring spiritual factors I won't get into right now, the Lord once again intervened in a great and mighty way. The responsibility of change fell on me (my ladies we've had this discussion) because I knew the Lord, I trusted in the Lord, and I knew His word.So I submitted everything I was inside to the Lord, and He taught me and He walked with me. It started with taking accountability for my own actions, behaviors, thoughts and feelings, and repenting to my husband, then learning how to submit to him as submitting to God. (my resources during this time became Winning Him Without Words by Dineen Miller and Lynn Donovan and their blog "Spiritually Unequal Marriage", A Wife's Prayer by Pamela Hines, and I keep diving deeper still into The Power of A Praying Wife and The Power of Prayer to Change Your Marriage(more in depth) books and videos by Stormie Omaritan. It just keeps speaking to me in different ways in different seasons! ) I learned how destructive any nagging or screaming was to my husband and children and how quickly it caused him especially, to shut down and build up almost indestructible walls. Thank God He can tear down Jericho walls in a mans heart! Proverbs 18:19 "An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and his disputes are like the bars of a fortress" I never want to cause my husband to build up walls like that ever again! If I had only known! Not only did I feel the shame of conviction wondering how could I have ever justified the behaviors that hurt him as a Holy Spirit filled woman of God (blinded by my own pain)...it was almost an impossible feat to tear down these walls! Of course for me it was. He told me nothing I could say or do would change his heart. Ya...but, well, we all underestimated the power of God to change a man's heart. Every time I want to give up I hear His voice loud and clear and it causes me to submit again and again. The Holy Spirit WILL NOT be underestimated! I guess Ive said all that to share this...I've learned men mentally put things into compartments, they think on them and disect them in their thoughts, where you and I can't see them. If you start nagging and pressuring them and not giving them a chance to process in their own way, you cause them to slam those drawers shut. You might need to remind them a time or two to revisit those compartments, but say it kindly and then leave it alone. No need to nag or yell, and throw tantrums, or call them names.( And yes, let me tell you that your disrespect to your husband IS SIN and WILL HINDER YOUR ANSWERED PRAYERS AND BLESSINGS, and just like any contempt or disorder in a court room, God WILL stop to deal with you and bring about order in you before proceeding on with him. Keep that in mind). Once they feel disrespected, they many times will not re-visit those issues. They will close up, many will walk away, or like my husband finally communicated to me, pull back inside like a turtle. See? Try breaking through that shell. If they don't respond to you, put it to prayer and God will respond. Remember first Peter 3:1 "In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives" Some state that if a man won't listen to the TRUTH, become quiet and he will fall in love with your beauty. A kind, gentle, obedient woman is beautiful to both man and God. It may not be immediate, but pray for a word on the issue, and keep praying it and seek God to make whatever changes you need to make in YOURSELF, while that seed continues to grow in him. Keep watering with praise and trust in the Lord. Know that He has sent the Holy Spirit as He said He would to activate His word, until you see it sprouting and bringing forth the requested fruit. I can take you through all my prayers and steps, but now that the walls are coming down Ive been able to go back to my husband regarding issues like parenting and say gently I need you to step in when you hear the kids talking back, being disrespectful, and yelling at me. They need your authority. I appreciate it when you take charge (that's another area of submission I had to learn to exercise, letting him take charge even if it was different from the way I would have done things, whether its my children or the house chores. The more I let him be him and do things his way, the more he is willing to step up....aaand it's really not that bad. The kids are surviving and having some help with the chores is better than no help, and the more I show appreciation for what he is doing and affirming him in those things, the more he does, the better he does.There is more order in my home, less stress and strife. My husband feels more respected which causes him to feel more confident and loved, and gives him a sense of purpose. All that God ordained it to be!) (I know, I know...where is your appreciation and affirmation? It will come! Keep planting those seeds! God says you will not be without honor. I always reflect back to Colossians 3:22-24 22 " You who are servants who are owned by someone, obey your owners. Work hard for them all the time, not just when they are watching you. Work for them as you would for the Lord because you honor God. 23 Whatever work you do, do it with all your heart. Do it for the Lord and not for men(not just for your husband). 24 Remember that you will get your reward FROM THE LORD. HE WILL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU SHOULD RECEIVE. You are working for the Lord Christ." Jesus also told Peter you do what I tell you to do because you follow me. I hold onto this with all my heart because it is so true. It doesn't matter what anybody, including my husband says or does...I answer to God alone and He is faithful to me. My God honors me by removing people from husbands life when I pray, like He did for Sarah. I just kept praying that my husband honors me as a Holy Temple unto the Lord. This has been my prayer when dealing with afflictions of lust and perversions, but lately I have also been applying it in the area needing to be respected and honored as a wife and mother. 1 Thessalonians 4:4 "That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honor". I am my husbands vessel, and not only do I need to possess my own vessel in sanctification and honor, but my HUSBAND needs to learn how to possess MY BEING as a vessel to be sanctified and honored, and he needs to learn to pass that onto our children. I wish I didn't have to say it, but vice versa ladies. He is your vessel and you need be possessing him as such too. It also equivelates to loving each other. Therefore everyday, through the changes in my husbands behavior and involvment I am seeing the love of God being restored in my husband to me. There's still a ways to go, but for now, faith spoken declarations and praying HIS word that my husband would love me as Christ loves the church, laying down his life for me in a self sacrificing not a self seeking way (and Ive had to do that for him!), that he would be more than satisfied with my beauty and enraptured with my love, that his heart would honor me and trust in me as declared in Prov. 31, that he would take the log out of his own eye and be accountible for his own behaviour and duties, ( How many of you know where I am coming from with that one? I had to go back to making that a prayer recently because he started being critical again and really coming at me for things he should have been responsible for and helping me with.)These are all scriptures you can pray and make as your declarations of faith. The bible says a man does not know the way he should walk. In essence, he is an empty vessel that can be filled and directed by your prayers. That is an awesome and powerful privelege! Of course I could keep going on because the word of God is alive and it never stops speaking! I have to stop somewhere. I am just so happy to just to see things evolving as the Lord has promised and I had to share it! Im sure I got way off topic of what I intended to say, but I don't ever know when to shut up. You can ask my husband. He'll tell ya! :)

I AM STILL STANDING IN HIS MIRROR IMAGE

It's been a rough couple of weeks, but I am still here. Fighting with a greater confidence. Things are all coming together in my heart and mind now. My security in the Lord is back where it used to be, my understanding is beyond what I could have seen, and my faith is greater in the Jesus in me. I am standing as an individual strengthened in my Christ once again, relying on my relationship with Him and not my husband, not needing or demanding him anymore. I can't believe how much I have changed this last year, but even more so, my understanding just in the last two weeks as I had to press into the warfare that I thought was coming to an end. I have to laugh thinking how much I was begging God here the other night that this was it, this was all I could give. I needed something back in return. I have gone past all I have ever known and all that I have ever done, honestly hoping He would miraculously just put an end to the battle, convict my husband in one night like so many other testimonies I have heard, and all of a sudden he would be saying, " I'm sorry, I love you", instead of another horrible Valentines evening of "I don't love you, I don't care about you anymore!" But I am just a girl of fantasies. Instead the Lord tells me He's not going to do that because it's about the journey. Oh goody me! I get the long version of the drawn out fantasy. I will have the desire of my heart, but as I said before, God is refining my life, my marriage, setting not only myself free of all past bondage and oppression, and every single bad habit, but also my family,and more importantly, transforming my husband and drawing him into true salvation and a real intimate relationship with Jesus, Himself. I cannot believe how deep we have gone this time. Each time Him saying..mmmm, just a little bit more...just a little bit deeper. I laugh because all along I have been praying Lord take me deeper. Lord set us free. Lord, my children will be children of freedom and children of the promise. I just didn't know we were going to do it all in one night. That's what it feels like. But then again, I prayed for acceleration of the blessing. I guess He knew with His help I could do it. Lol Well, the blessing and the anointing doesn't always come without a cost. Think about what kind of a spoiled brat we would be then. Thinking we are always entitled to everything we wanted without any appreciation or character. Sounds like a couple of teenagers I know of here lately.

So here I am. Feels like the night I had eight teeth pulled before getting my braces, but it was worth all the pain to have a beautiful smile. I know you think I am crazy! How can I know my prayers are being answered when I keep going through one more thing after another. That's how I know. Every step Jesus is directing me what to do, what to pray, strengthening me for just one more day. He is so amazing! He sees the heart and needs of the other person. I just needed to lay down my life for them and pray for them. I needed to learn to react differently to my husband and pray. Just like the other night. I sat alone eating dinner by myself again. Thinking about how he screamed at me on Valentines day also saying "you always get what you want." I'd like to beg to differ, but there was no use in arguing the same argument. All I wanted was my husband to sit with me, not at the computer. I remembered right before he told me about her that I had asked him to come sit with me and the kids for dinner and he hollered at me "I don't want to, I am leaving soon." I had no idea where that was coming from, but it hurt. Now I had to deal with this hurt too. Insult upon insult, but my God is greater!!! This time I said, "Lord thank you for sitting here with me and enjoying dinner with me. I am not alone. You are here with me." Immediately I felt His presence upon me and the rest of my night became a night of praise. That is all He was looking for. Looking for me to turn to Him instead of yelling at my husband that he doesn't spend time with me, only to have him argue that he does. Only this time he would remind me that he doesn't care anymore, so it was pointless anyways. That praise turned into powerful weapons of worship that pulls down strongholds. That is what God means when He says our weapons are not carnal but mighty in the pulling down of strongholds!

2 Corinthians 10:4-6

4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 6 And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete.

ONCE OUR OBEDIENCE IS COMPLETE!

Now my obedience is nearing it's completion. My new behavior is becoming habit.(Even my husband commented he noticed I am not reacting the way I used to. Amen! That was the goal right? To become silent and show him with my ways, as the bible directs) I have learned to think and react from the right starting place. I have more of God's word in me. I have been delivered from several strongholds and generational curses. I have learned to put my needs and security back in the Lord and not my husband. I have learned to submit my husband to the Lord and not try to control him or discipline him myself. I have been learning to love him and respect him the way that God wants me to. I have come to the realization that when my husband errors or gets trapped in sin I am to pray for him. ( Where the heck as Christians did we forget to do this for our spouses? They wrong us and hurt us , they fail to meet our expectations and we want to leave them, condemn them, or kick them to the curb. We forget they need us to pray for them just as much as our brothers or sisters, or our neighbors.) I have learned how to help someone else get through their journey as long as they are willing to travel it. There is a great reward and blessing just on the other side.

So tonight I rest in peace. My husband has been showing some affection towards me,to which I am grateful to the Lord! But I know something he doesn't. God is in control and He is changing him everyday. I have been praying and declaring " Thank you Lord for making my husband the mirror image of Jesus from glory to glory." His word cannot return to Him void! Hallelujah! It has to accomplish what was spoken, what it was sent to do. You may not see it working today or tomorrow, but one day it will just spring up! Today as I meditated on that prayer the Lord ever so gently rested in my heart showing me that also means that my husband WILL love me the way Jesus loves me because he is the mirror image of Jesus. Because he is the mirror image of Jesus, he will be intimate with me the way Jesus is intimate with me. Because he is the mirror image of Jesus, he will love me with the same kind of passion and affection that Jesus loves me with. Because he is the mirror image of Jesus, he will be attentive to me in the same manner Jesus is attentive to me, to my needs, to all my wants, to all my likes and desires. It just goes on. That's how good God is! There is no end to His goodness or capabilities! It's all in learning to trust Him and apply all that He is trying to give you, and wait for His timing.

To be honest, I hate closing on this note without giving you all the specifics of my battle and training. I know you are eager to get going and applying these same tactics in your life, but it must always start in you seeking Him and trusting Him first. Your walk may differ of course. Many of you will not have all the struggles I have had. Others may have more. God is in control. He will direct you and strengthen you. He will never leave you or forsake you. Jesus died loving you, and you.

Trust in this .....as you pray for your spouse know...

2 Corinthians 4:16

Therefore we do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day.

Thank you Lord! For I know the outer man of my husband is dying, it is being destroyed! (that's the part you are seeing with your eyes,the part that is raging against you because it is corrupt and dying!) but his inner man is being renewed in You and by Your Spirit day by day! (that's the part you choose to believe and trust in!)
I don't look at the circumstances! I choose to believe in You and Your word! (Not what my eyes see or ears hear) You are greater! You are above and not beneath the circumstances and what my eyes see!

As you are praying this for your husband you will see that your old self is dying too, and YOU are being renewed day by day in your mind and heart.

(Trust God! He says He will compensate you for all your trouble and pain. He says you WILL see the defeat of your adversaries! Your ears WILL hear it!)

2 Corinthians 3:18

We all, with unveiled faces, are looking as in a mirror at the glory of the Lord and are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory; this is from the Lord who is the Spirit.


I find in myself now and I can see... I AM becoming the mirror image of Jesus. I AM behaving more like Jesus. I Am thinking more like Jesus. I Am loving more like Jesus!

NO MORE SPIRITUAL FAMINE! (prophecy)

"A voice is heard in Ramah [Arizona ;)], weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted..." Mathew 2:18.

I've always had so much compassion for mankind. I feel as though you are my children. You always have been and you always will be. As long as I am able to pray for you I will adhere to my senses as your spiritual mother, refusing to be comforted until I know salvation has come to you. Taking a protective stance over you in prayer, praying for your provision, fighting for your spiritual freedom and prosperity. I will love you because Jesus loves you.

The last two prayer sessions have had some tremendous power flowing. I am finally at the place of command. Things are breaking, moving, and finally being released. For so long I could always feel the blessing and the anointing flow into me, but rarely did it ever flow out. I struggled with this not understanding why things weren't moving and flowing through me. It's there, I feel it, but why do I feel stopped up? Stagnant? Like a lake or reservoir that fills up and with no outlet to run fresh. A true meaning of a constipated Christian I suppose. Frustrating!! Now that I have been delivered of the strongholds of my flesh I can feel things moving with power! Oh! That's what it's supposed to feel like! It feels good! Yes, release feels good! You know what I'm talking about! ;) People if I could just get you to understand the things that stop us up in the spirit. Sin and these strongholds that we ignorantly and sometimes willingly give place to, hinder the blessing from flowing in our lives. But no more! God is getting ready to do what He said He would do! In my video I told you Isaiah 46 says...

9 Remember the former things, those of long ago;
I am God, and there is no other;
I am God, and there is none like me.
10 I make known the end from the beginning,
from ancient times, what is still to come.
I say: My purpose will stand,
and I will do all that I please.

(You should see me with my arms raised shaking my fist yelling YAAAAAA!!!!!!)


I just wanted to bless the Lord last night. I just started shouting out praises to Him. I can't even remember all that I said, I know I was praying for your deliverance and I know that as I started praying," Lord do what pleases you! Come Lord and do what pleases you! You said you are God and you will do what pleases you! (Isaiah 46 9-10) I know it pleases you to set your children free!" At this point there was so much going on in my mind and heart. I know that people have been so blinded and we have willingly given place to false idols and beliefs which are lies from the devil, and accepted the corruption of the world. How can they know Lord? So much hurt, so much pain, so much struggling. Please forgive us, please forgive them, they do not know, they do not understand. Immediately I felt as if a gate in heaven had been opened and a flood of heavenly host came charging out of it on horses! I thought my God just sent an army. He just sent an army!!!! And then it came to my spirit He sent an army to round up the minions that have been wrecking havock in this world and in you! I started to praise Him because I knew then He sent an army to take back this world and I started praising Him and shouting the earth is yours Lord! The earth is yours Lord!

Psalm 24:1

1 The earth is the LORD’s, and everything in it,
the world, and all who live in it;

Do you need a second witness?

Psalm 89:11
11 The heavens are yours, and the earth is yours; everything in the world is yours -- you created it all!

Yes! The Calvary is coming!! If things seem to be suddenly going chaotic or getting worse in your life, it's only for a moment. Things have been stirred up in the spirit world. The enemy is freaking out and battling trying to keep the ground he has obtained, but he HAS TO GO! In the name of JESUS!!! Now is the time to press into His word and stand in HIS strength, not your own, and stand in faith!

Just a little bit ago the Lord brought to my spirit His word, "I will not bring famine upon you." (Ezekiel 36:29) I have been praying this over the financial realm of my life, but tonight God spoke this to me for you, showing me He is not going to bring spiritual famine upon you, He is removing it right now! "I will save you from all your uncleanness......I will not bring famine upon you." He knows (my children) you are tired, He knows how weary and defeated you are, how empty you feel. He wants to fill you up. He is going to put His Spirit in you, His strength, His love. I just started crying because I could feel His love for you and the freedom and release He is bringing to you. Rejoice in Him! Now I understand He has sent an army to round up the minions that have been tormenting you and to remove the spiritual famine you have been experiencing. I can't even express to you the greatness of the flow of His Spirit and love! He loves you so much! Jesus loves you! Just let Him flow! Hallelujah! NO MORE SPIRITUAL FAMINE!!!

Enduring Valentines

I have to share this letter from Lynn Donovan coauthor of Winning Him Without Words. It was very inspiring and comforting to me. Every year at Valentines I long for the kind of romance you see on Tv and read about in books. Always left feeling like I was the only married woman who was never given any flowers, chocolate, or cards from my beloved spouse. There were a couple of times that I did receive a gift, but it didn't feel so romantic after a bunch of griping and prodding on my end. I just never understood. Of course after last years birthday and Valentines celebration came and went with total devastation as his mind and heart was set for someone else, doing the romantic things I always begged him for with someone else, while he tore my heart apart with his harsh words and actions,I'm left feeling a little jittery about my upcoming birthday and Valentines day this year.I never really thought about how close the two were. Last night it made me feel kind of special. I wondered if I should continue my plans to do something nice and special for husband without any expectations. I wondered if it was okay to hope for something nice this year. Hoping the Lord had been able to work enough love and change into my husbands heart. The Lord has done an amazing job, and so quickly at that. When I stop and think about all that has gone on and could have happened, a year doesn't seem that long anymore. It's only been six months since my husband suffered from a broken heart as the Lord severed the ungodly relationship that was taking place outside of the covenant. I had and have to endure the season of healing in his heart, and I haven't been exactly patient about it. I am so thankful for the Lord's grace that has been more than enough during my times of weakness. I love Him ever more! I love Him for what He has taught me. I love Him for helping me to love my husband more. I am grateful that the Lord has been in control and my husband is still home with me and our children. I am grateful as I see the Lord working deliverance into my husband, myself, and our family life in all aspects. The Lord is faithfully fortifying and inhabiting US! He is rebuilding that which has been destroyed and devastated. He confirmed again to me this last Saturday through a man of God at church. I will have my reward for my obedience and endurance. I wait on the Lord!

This letter from Lynn shows me again that I am not the only woman who longs for the typical idea of romance and that I can and should take the initiative to bless my husband, knowing that I WILL reap what I sow. I sow love, kindness, romance into my husband WITHOUT putting expectations on him, and the FATHER who sees all will reward me. I can put all my expectations on Him and His Word!

(But first I wanted to include this verses for your reference)

Galations 6 (read this over a couple of times. I just got some new revelation myself :))

6 The one who is taught the word is to share all good things with the one who teaches him. (Do you see it? I just did. The person that is learning has to bless and give back to the one doing the teaching. The law of reaping and sowing already in effect. Your action of sowing love is teaching the other person. You are planting seeds that will produce fruit for you to reap!)
7 Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, this he will also reap. 8 For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. 9 Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. 10So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.

Colossians 3:23-24
23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward.

Ephesians 6:8

8 because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does

Hebrews 6:15 (My New Favorite)

having patiently endured, he (she) obtained the promise.



Valentine's Day is strange! (by Lynn Donovan)

This day could make me one of the happiest women alive or shatter my life. In the early years of my marriage, I had expectations of surprise trips to some warm destination. I dreamed of three dozen roses arriving at the bank which would make all my coworkers green with envy. I wanted him to sweep me off my feet because after all I deserved it. I mean really.....

After all, he was lucky enough to snag me.

Ahem....

Don't pretend you haven't had thoughts along these lines as a young bride. Perhaps you still might.

Well, I am writing to you today for a couple of reasons. I wish when I was young and starry eyed about love, a wise woman would have come along side me to help me get a grip on reality. I may not be the wisest woman but I care so very much about your tender heart.

My first five Valentine's Days I was lucky in that my husband remembered to buy me a card. Many of you tomorrow won't receive anything from your spouse. However, I wanted bouquets of flowers. I was so disappointed I cried.... Alone in the closet. Okay, Jesus cried along with me.

So, as this greeting card holiday looms, it helps to share a heads-up. Our husband's might disappoint us. Remember, our expectations of our men can be very selfish and our men often feel that no matter what they do, they can never make us happy.

I can hear some of you saying right now.... But, why shouldn't I expect some token of love on this day we celebrate romantic love? Well, honestly, I believe you should. However, it doesn't always happen.

Let me share how our Valentine's Day changed over the years. After five years of a card when "I wanted more," I took matters into my own hands.

I began to plan Valentine's Day and didn't wait for my man to make dinner reservations. I made reservations or planned a candle light dinner at home. If I wanted a bouquet of flowers, I bought them. I bought lingerie then wrapped it up to give to him with a promise to model it.

I'm not sure when it started to happen but flowers began to arrive at the house around Valentine's Day in the strangest way. I remember opening up the front door one year to a smiling FedEx driver. The driver looked at me wearing a great big smile and holding a large thin box. She said, "Mrs. Donovan, this is one of my favorite deliveries to make." The box was filled with live fresh flowers. They were pink and beautiful and ...... guess what...

I cried.

~But not in the closet.

God can change any man but I bet He is gonna change you first. Don't wait on him. Plan something now and make this Valentine's Day a great day.

Have a wonderful day and don't forget that Jesus is really the only one who can fill the hole in our hearts. Happy Valentine's Day and may the Lord send you several tiny love notes and delight your heart.

Be Blessed, Lynn

Change is coming..I can feel it.

I truly felt today that the change I have been praying for is coming! The changes I have been praying for in my husbands heart mostly. I could just feel the Holy Spirit reassuring me He is doing it! He is transforming his heart and renewing it! I just started praising Him! He does a work that worketh effectively! I just felt as if the Lord was laying on my husband, like the prophet did, bringing every cell in his body back to life. I just started praying yes Lord, You are in him, and all around him! He belongs to you! He is your possession! Hallelujah! I know change is coming in all areas and aspects of my life. Woo! Hoo! I am so excited! It won't be long now! Pressing in!


Here we go...I felt the change coming today. It's coming....So I can't...I won't..
I'm not about to give up
Because I heard you say
There's gonna be brighter days!....I wont stop, Ill keep my head up
No, I'm not here to stay....I just might bend but wont break
As long as I can see your face...I'm gonna move!

What God says to Israel

Well I got news for you...this is what God says to Israel.....
1“Arise, shine, for your light has come,
and the glory of the Lord rises upon you.
2 See, darkness covers the earth
and thick darkness is over the peoples,
but the Lord rises upon you
and his glory appears over you.
3 Nations will come to your light,
and kings to the brightness of your dawn. Isaiah 60:1-3
Isaiah 60:10-12
10“Foreigners will rebuild your walls,
and their kings will serve you.
Though in anger I struck you,
in favor I will show you compassion.
11 Your gates will always stand open,
they will never be shut, day or night,
so that men may bring you the wealth of the nations—
their kings led in triumphal procession.
12 For the nation or kingdom that will not serve you will perish;
it will be utterly ruined."
Isaiah 60:18
18 No longer will violence be heard in your land,
nor ruin or destruction within your borders,
but you will call your walls Salvation
and your gates Praise.
Isaiah 60:22
"I am the Lord;
in its time I will do this swiftly.”

Burn it Up and Purge it!

I am happy to share another praise report with you. I have been praying for my sister for over a year now regarding the horrible relationship she was in. Honestly she has gone from one to another, after another... This last one was the worst due to all the things that were involved, but the Lord is faithful! I came across another verse that just empowered me in my faith. She has finally left the man and I pray will continue on a path of healing and restoration with her relationship in the Lord. All you mothers and even fathers concerned about your children and the backsliding...I have a promise for you! I told you in my video to pray Ezekiel 36:24-37 over them, now go forward to Ezekiel 37. Pray this over your spouses too!

"They will no longer defile themselves with their idols (drugs, ungodly relationships, sexual immorality, rebellion,perversity,pornography..etc) and vile images or with any of their offenses, for I will save them from ALL their sinful backsliding, and I will cleanse them. They will be my people, and I will be their God" Ezekiel 37:23

Everything you need is all written right here! And it goes on to say..

"..They will have one shepherd (talking about King David and Israel, but you can substitute that imagery for God being the one shepherd over your loved one). They will follow my laws and obey my decrees. They will live in the land I gave..the land where your fathers lived (sign of restoration)....They (the loved one you are praying for) AND their children AND their children's children will live there forever!...I will make a covenant of peace with them; it will be an everlasting covenant. I will establish them (restoration) and increase their numbers ( I was thinking this applies to just having more children, but it just came to me as I am writing the Lord says that applies to their finances and things of substance as well!!), and I will put my sanctuary among them forever! My dwelling place will be with them; I WILL be their God!, and they will be my people. Then the nations, (your family, friends, neighbors..etc) WILL KNOW that I the Lord make Israel ( YOU, His Beloved) HOLY, when my sanctuary is among them forever!" Ezekiel 37:24-28

Hallelujah! Do you see the promise? He is saying He is not going to forsake your loved ones, He is going to bring them back from sin, then He is going to bless them and restore them with increase, and bless all their children and all the great grandchildren! What an awesome God! Don't you let go of this promise! You hold onto to it and confess it, believe it every waking day!

I have also prayed these prayers over my sister and my husband.

The Knitting of Souls Prayer~ Author Unkown

Father, if (name) soul has been knit to the soul of any of the following people/ or any person(if you do not have a name) in any manner that would not bring glory and honor to the Lord Jesus Christ, I choose to loose their soul from the soul of each of the following (name of people you want removed from loved ones).

If (name of loved one) has listened to any lies that Satan or any demonic forces have given (name) concerning any of these people, I confess that as sin, and I ask You to forgive (name). I put the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ between (name of loved one/or name of stronghold such as lust,adultery,depression,anger,etc) and each person I have named and any demons that may be in or around them.

All this I pray in the Name, the Power, and the Authority of the Lord Jesus Christ of John 3:16. (Some like to specify which Jesus because their are counterfeits and this way there is no room for confusion.)

This prayer doesn't just have to applied with sexual relationships, it can be any relationship that leads to rebellion, or a life that is unholy or unpleasing to the Lord in characteristics. Such as, my husband was associating with someone that was filled with lust and is an unbeliever and he started to look up to him and take on his character so I prayed this prayer several times until I started to see the change. Whatever spirit is operating in one person will link up with a spirit in another person, and that is why people get drawn away and into doings things they normally don't do all of a sudden. I also realized I had a friend that every time she became close friends with another couple they would end up separating or in a divorce. I was not immuned to it either, but I had Jesus in me constantly battling for me against the spirit that was operating in her, trying to link up with the issues I had going on in me.(principalities working through personalities) We must learn to get rid of these strongholds and be completely filled with the Spirit of the Lord so we don't have to worry about such things. It does take spending time with the Lord and learning to obey and submit to Him.

If you have been involved in past sexual relationships or find it hard to pull away from friendship relationships you know you need to break free from, or if you are having constant memories and feelings for someone that you shouldn't be, past or present, pray for forgiveness first, then pray this over yourself as many times as you need to. Also insert and pray this part before the closing of the prayer....

As best I know, I have chosen or do now choose to forgive them for any way they may have sinned against me. I bless them, and I ask You to bless them. If, according to Your wisdom and knowledge, I have not genuinely forgiven them I'm asking You to reveal that to me and prepare me and enable me to truly forgive each one of them. I choose to allow You to produce in me the attitude toward them that the Lord Jesus Christ wants me to have.

Another prayer I prayed several times a day ...

Lord, I pray (name) will be obedient to Your voice of instruction turning from their lives of sin. Lord, I pray that You will break every stronghold that is blocking deliverance, repentance, salvation, healing, and restoration for (name) and all other marriages. I pray that (name) and ALL ungodly and wrong relationships be severed and that you would end all evil communication right now! In the Name of Jesus permanently! I pray for a mighty outpouring of the Holy Spirit as You breathe Your agape love into my spouse and marriage and all couples of hurting and dead marriages. For nothing is impossible with You, God. In the Name of Jesus I pray, Amen.
www.rejoiceministries.org

One prayer I personally prayed was.. Lord I ask you to severe all thoughts of the other person, all memories, all feelings of enticement and excitement from the mind, heart, and soul of my spouse. That You would send your Holy Fire to burn it up and turn it to ash, and wash it all away with the blood of Jesus. Thank you for sending your Holy Spirit to purge my spouse from all these evil ties and strongholds, all these impurities, in the Name and Mighty Blood of Jesus!

(and to be honest, I just recently prayed this over myself too regarding my past. It's time for freedom from all oppression and time to walk into the promised land with NEW LOVE! NEW JOY! NEW MEMORIES!!!!NEW FREEDOMS!!)

I have so much more to come! The Lord is just pouring into me and opening my eyes! Stay tuned! If you would like to email me apart from this blog page for whatever reason, prayer, questions, conversation...email me at esther2jwl@yahoo.com

One Year Victory Anniversary

Today is my one year anniversary of victory as a stander for my marriage! It was a year ago today my husband told me he was leaving me for another woman. Can you say BUT GOD?? Doing the happy dance! Oh ya! Still more to press into, but the Lord is faithful! He is a redeemer, restorer and healer! So thankful that He is in control and has given me a sword to use and taught me how to use it! I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine! (Song of Solomon 6:3, 2:16) I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me. (Song of Solomon 7:10) Romans 10:11 “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.”
Isaiah 54:4
"Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood."

Romans 5:5 Your love " has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit" so the love in my husband is active, real, and strong!

I will praise the Lord!

Keep standing! Keep Believing! Keep praying, shouting, confessing His word and only His word!!!

I Gotcha Babe!

I wanted to come and write to you about the things good and bad that have been happening lately and even my own short comings, but something else happened this weekend. I found myself almost back in the same place I was a year ago. My husband threatening to leave me again, accusing me again of seeking out other men again( more out of hope I sense so that he could move on), defending the other woman and so on. I have, to my surprise, been dealing with a great deal of suspicion, fear, anger, insult and so on. I know it's just a tactic of the enemy still, especially because New Year's day I met with our prayer group from church and we prayed over marriages. I know things were stirred up in the spirit world and I have to keep my ground, but there was so much grief in my heart that my husband still has this hardness of heart and attitude. It made me finally come to a place in my heart where I just let go. I wasn't letting go of God, but I was finally grieved to a point where all I could do was let my husband go into the Lords hands, because I know that sometimes we have to experience things on our own for us to finally see and understand things in life, and even see the grace of God. As I began to pray for the Lord to just strengthen me and direct my steps and provide for me and my children because I am not working right now and not sure what to do,( I know He will provide) He just began to knock away all the thoughts that were coming to my mind.

The Lord began to remind me of all the things that had been turned around this last year, all the interventions. It wasn't by no accident, even though it was all very painful. I have to look back and see that even within the last six months my husband had stated he was no longer leaving me, a few months later he stated he was no longer talking to the other woman, and he finally told me that right before Christmas he deleted the email account that had both of their names on it he used to communicate with her. The Lord has been answering my prayers step by step, whether or not my husband is being truthful I have to trust in the Lord. Even though my husband doesn't understand why he is being compelled to act on these things when it's not what he wanted to do, and he is still displaying a hardness of heart to the ways and truth of the Lord, and that's what's grieving to me, but that goes to show me that the Spirit of the Lord is powerful and working, and He is faithful to His word! ( EZEKIEl 36:27 I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them. I pray this over my husband) It's still hard dealing with all these feelings, even though I know my husband was being inspired by the enemy, because he still hasn't come to acknowledge his behavior as sin or that he has any feelings of love for me, but obviously God is still working in his heart and I just have to keep praying, not allowing myself to be complacent.

I honestly think the Lord wanted me to come to that place of truly "letting go and letting God." He began to fill me with the hope of His word again that He does have a plan and a hope and a future for my marriage. He began to put praise in my heart and reminded me that these behaviors manifesting in my husband are proof that God is working in him because the enemy is trying to discourage me to give up. I, being all wise to the tactics of the enemy, must use this to my advantage. These behaviors allowed me to see what areas I still need to pray over in my husbands heart because these things are not just going to go away. They will hide and resurface when you are not expecting it again. This is a New Year! The Lord showed me again He is just purging and renewing my marriage! I have to press on in prayer and I can rejoice!

Right then I went back to praying over my husband in the area of forgiveness(mostly him forgiving me, past hurts that he hasn't forgiven are allowing a strong hold in him and creating a hardness of heart), healing for the hardness of heart, and infidelity. All of these prayers include praying for conviction and repentance and may be found in the book The Power Of Prayer to Change Your Marriage- Stormie Omartian. As I began to pray the prayer regarding infidelity a very strong image of a little minion intruded my thoughts waving a sword at me. I thought Ooh...I must have touched on something. It really didn't like me praying that. I have prayed this prayer many times but things must be close to breaking off of my husband now I realize when things start attacking and images start manifesting. I have learned to understand and not push aside this images as just my own imaginations. God gave us imagination for a great purpose and one purpose is to communicate to us and let us see things in the spirit world.

As I began to praise the Lord for the breakthrough and tell Him I don't want just His power but His presence, and that I understood that the power is in His presence, and all I wanted or needed was in His presence, I could just feel His mighty presence in me and I could see an image of Him with His strong arm just knocking the dark clouds away from me from the right and then to the left. Light began to shine through to me. A song that I always sang to my son as a baby came into my heart. I could feel the Lord shout to me "I GOTCHA BABE!" My God! My God! My God! All that was in me just let go into His hands. I was and am so filled with the power of His love and presence.

He said it and He meant it...

Hebrews 13:5-6
.....for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!]
6 So we take comfort and are encouraged and confidently and boldly say, The Lord is my Helper; I will not be seized with alarm [I will not fear or dread or be terrified]. What can man do to me?


I woke up and I could still feel His hope, His presence, just holding me..."I gotcha babe...I will not relax my hold on you. I got YOU babe." I realized I needed to study this spirit called infidelity and as I do so much of it makes sense to me, and all I want to do is love my husband even more and fight for him even more. I go to the park to pray and meditate over the stuff I am learning. As I am sitting on the boulder listening to the rush of the waterfall I feel the conviction of the Lord in my own heart regarding the traces of infidelity. When I prayed this prayer over my husband a couple of months ago I knew then I should apply it to myself but I thought I will later. I still liked the feeling of enticement and excitement of past memories, I told myself I could hold onto it for just a little while, I wanted to feel something other than the pain I was feeling now and I wanted something to hold onto to just in case....

Exclamation!!!! What was I thinking??? Obviously I wasn't. Seriously, how can I pray for its removal from my husband when it's still operating in me?? That's the point. Power is limited when you are acting with the same sin. That's why you have to truthfully examine yourself and see if you are lining up with God's word, especially if you are praying for someone else and want to see breakthrough in them. I felt extremely convicted in myself and sought the Lord to forgive me of the lingering sins of infidelity in myself and to forgive me for setting this thing up as a false god to worship in place of God Our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. That is exactly what we do when we give place to sin and these deceptive enticing spirits that we do not rebuke or repent of. Really sheds some light on the true issue doesn't it? At this point the power and presence of the Lord rest even more heavily on me. I know He is glad, and I wonder if that little minion I saw was actually more worried about me coming to repentance and receiving more power in myself than he was of having to let go of my husband. Remember the necessity of an enemy?? (Ron Carpenter)

Honestly as I sat there just absorbing the Lords presence it was so strong and I just poured my heart out right there. I thought something was going to happen and I might end up freaking every one out at the park. Lol. Sometimes we are so afraid to press into the Lord. Afraid we aren't good enough, afraid we won't last being good enough, afraid that we won't get enough of Him and be left still feeling empty. I urge you to really press on this year letting those feelings go, push past them. It's not about us being good enough. Not even our own sins can keep us from the love of God. That is why He sent us Jesus. We don't have to worry about being good enough. In that moment when I just kept thinking how could I have done this? He wasn't judging me, He wasn't hating me, He wasn't telling me I was going to hell. No, He was acting like a loving Father at my knee telling me it's all going to be okay. Dry up those tears, smile. I know your sorry, now get up again. I gotcha babe. And like His bouncy little girl I sucked up the sniffles and put on a half smile and said okay daddy! I love you daddy!

And now I'm stronger. I walked over to another place at the pond. Now I'm ready to pray in the same way and offer the same love to my husband. I gotcha babe! I got your spirit, I got your back!!


To come...How does infidelity find its way into your heart and mind and what to do about it.

Praying for you....I Gotcha Babe!

Melodius..It's A Word In Your Heart!

Yesterday started out as a beautiful day of prayer. Of course when I reached that point of being in His presence and truly enjoying my time with the Lord, the phone starts ringing and people start knocking at the door, but not before the Lord got to make a deposit in my heart. Graham Cooke talked about how God has already put His word in our hearts. When you accept Jesus as your personal Savior He is already inside of you. We keep thinking He is on the outside and we keep trying to get Him to come in. We need to start off by acknowledging Jesus is already in us waiting to express Himself outward from within. Those are my descriptions. Graham says it much more eloquently. (The Art of Brilliantly Thinking)

My life coach last week when talking with my son, expressed the same understanding, explaining to him the difference between the soul and the spirit. Why we can have the Spirit of God in us but still operate in our flesh and have strongholds in our emotions. She stated that the Lord has written His word on our hearts. That's why even people that do not want to acknowledge there is a God still know right from wrong. His word says..

Jeremiah 31:33

“I will put my law in their minds
and write it on their hearts.
I will be their God,
and they will be my people."

Hebrews 10:16
"This is the new covenant I will make with my people on that day, says the LORD: I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds."

These are just a couple. The point is His word is already alive in the earth. It already rest in the hearts of man. We just need to speak it forth. As I dwelt on this concept, His word is already written on our hearts, it became so beautiful to me. I began to make it my prayer over my husband. I began to thank and praise the Lord that His word was already in my husband. That it would now begin to spring forth and produce good fruit. The Holy Spirit would begin to bring it to life in my husband and that he would begin to align with it, understand it, and hunger for it, move with it. At some point as I became joyous with my praise I began to see an image of God opening His mouth and His words just began to flow into my husbands opened mouth. It flowed like a music bar just filling him. His words looked like dancing music notes. It was so melodius. I don't even know if that is a real word, but His word was flowing like a melody into my husband. I became so excited and started praising and shouting "Yes Lord! Sing into my husband! Sing over my husband! Let him become your delight! Make him full of your joy!! Fill him with your word with your praise!" (so on) I knew the Lord was in my husband now.

I then began to pray my favorite prayers and declarations such as my husband is led by the Spirit and does not fulfill the lust of the flesh. He is drawn to the Lord by His unfailing loving kindness. He walks the path of righteousness. He is surrounded by the presence of God who is in relentless pursuit of him and overwhelmed with His love, and so on. I pulled out my The Power Of A Praying Wife book and began to pray over his fatherhood, emotions, and attitude. When finished there I began to praise the Lord with Psalm 100:4

"Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name."

I found myself going back to this verse saying, "Lord, I am thankful to him, and I praise his name."

Then I caught myself and said Lord I'm sorry I didn't mean to ...and He stopped me. He let me know it's okay to be thankful to my husband. It's okay to praise him. He knows I was not praising my husband as a means of worship. He wants us to have that kind of attitude towards our spouses, regardless of how they are acting.(That is the sacrifice of praise!) He wants us to come before Him rejoicing over our spouses. That is what puts a smile on His face and allows Him to move and change the atmosphere around our situations and in their hearts, as well as our own. It was a joyous time!

Remember even Sarah called Abraham lord, and it was not considered disrespectful to God. It was the highest form of respect. Respect leads to love.

Ephesians 5:22

"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord."

How do you love the Lord?

I texted my husband, " I am thankful to you! I praise your name...Mr....!"
He didn't respond, but that's okay. This journey is about learning to love unconditionally and without expectations. I almost hate saying it because then I'm tested on it. But I am being tested and trained anyways. It's just so hard! lol It's okay because I am learning to trust in the Lord completely. Do you understand what that means??? It means a more deeper intimacy with God. It means a more powerful you. A you that is unafraid, NOT LACKING ANYTHING!! It's okay to sow seeds of love without expectation. It doesn't make you less of a person. God will not allow love to take away from you. You always reap what you sow. Trust HIM!!! It helps me to personally look back and acknowledge all the times my husband said I love you and I never responded with the same words. I showed him by doing things for him, but I rarely said I love you to him. Now I know how he felt and I am sorry. I would say I am regretful but I was delivered from all that as of yesterday. Yes, I got to put myself in the judgement seat. It was a good experience and one to write about in the next blog.

Bless your spouse.

Jeremiah 31:3

“I have loved you with an everlasting love;
I have drawn you with loving-kindness."

Thank you Lord for loving (spouse/child/friend name) and loving them with an everlasting love. Thank you for drawing (spouse/child/friend name) with your unfailing loving kindness.

And His promise to you my love..
Jeremiah 31

4 I will build you up again
and you will be rebuilt...
Again you will take up your tambourines
and go out to dance with the joyful.

5 Again you will plant vineyards...
the farmers will plant them and enjoy their fruit.

12 They will come and shout for joy on the heights of Zion;
they will rejoice in the bounty of the Lord—
the grain, the new wine and the oil,
the young of the flocks and herds. (your finances, substance)
They will be like a well-watered garden,
and they will sorrow no more. (personalize this. I will sorrow no more)
13 Then maidens will dance and be glad,
young men and old as well.
I will turn their mourning into gladness;
I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.
14 I will satisfy the priests with abundance,
and my people will be filled with my bounty,”
declares the Lord.

16 This is what the Lord says:

“Restrain your voice from weeping
and your eyes from tears,
for your work will be rewarded,”
declares the Lord.
“They will return from the land of the enemy.
17 So there is hope for your future,” declares the Lord.
“Your children(spouse) will return to their own land."

I Won't Shrink Back

I have come to realize that everything I have gone through this last year was to make me bolder, more courageous, refined in His love and word. He knew what it would take to get me to press in and move to the level that He needed me to be at. I am stronger than I have ever been. I realize now that all my years of rejection have left me oweing no man! I now appreciate it and understand that by oweing no one I can give myself completely to my God not fearing what man will say to me, or what they will do to me, or if they turn from me. His faithfulness to me has kept me solely relying on Him alone and my gratefullness to Him makes me want to do what He wants me to do, say what He wants me to say, and go where He wants me to go. Holding nothing of myself back from Him. Amazing how He turns a situation around and makes it worthy of praise!

The Lord has brought precious people into my life to help me during this time and they will have their reward. I know I would not have made it this far this quickly without their help, but He still gets the praise. He's the one that blesses me and provides for me. He's the one that strengthens me and comforts me. He guides me and He goades me. No one can take credit for what He has done for me and therefore I am under no obligation to any man. He was buying my total freedom from man. Now I am free to be just His, used for His good purposes alone! What an honor! And all this time I was boo-hooing feeling sorry for myself. Why couldn't He have just said so?? Lol I guess He has time and time again, I just couldn't figure it out. I would for a short time or so, but I think I got it this time, only because my passion for Him and His word have grown. I knew when the time came I would not be afraid. At the beginning of this year I didn't think so. I didn't even think I could carry on this path anymore, but when push came to shove my heart proved my allegiance. My God! My God! I surrender to you!

Many years ago I had visions of Jesus taking me into places of total devastation helping people and bringing them to know the Lord Jesus. I never contracted the diseases that they had. I was always protected and taking care of. At one point we stopped and I looked to the Lord Jesus, of course I could not see His face in my vision, but I asked Him with a humble heart, " Lord why did you choose me? Why do I have this privilege?" He answered, " It's not because I don't have many to choose from, just few that are willing to make the sacrifice." I never really understood this because I know my failures and I know I've never made the sacrifice, He did.

This year I realize I have made the sacrifice. I made the sacrifice to stand and obey when I wanted to run. I made the sacrifice to speak and share when I was ridiculed for believing in His word and promises above my circumstances. I made the sacrifice to accept His strength when I fell to my knees and wanted to give up. I made the sacrifice to accept His peace and comfort when I was shaken with fear and anxiety. I made the sacrifice when I accepted His righteousness as my own and applied His authority in my life and ruled when all others didn't think I was worthy or holy enough. He has made it so easy for me and you to obtain the victory if you want it. That is why I have what I have and I won't apologize, I won't be shamed by man. I know what HE has given to me. I know what HE has spoken to me. Through His word and Spirit, through the visions I have recieved, the prophecies spoken over me, and the answered prayers He brings forth to me. I know my purpose and that's what gives me confidence in what His will is for me.

He knows what I will do with all that He has given me. I will boast of Him. I will stand on the rooftops and shout praise to Him. I will be the mouthpiece when He wants to speak. I will be the arms when He wants to lend and comfort with love. I will be bold and laugh at the wicked and the enemy. I will be the warrior He uses to crush the enemy under His feet. I will give ALL that He has given me.

James 1:2-5
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

James 1:12
12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.

James 1:22
22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25 But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.


Hebrews 10:35-38

35 So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.

36 You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. 37 For,“In just a little while, He who is coming will come and will not delay.”

38 “But my righteous one will live by faith.
And I take no pleasure
in the one who shrinks back.”


That is why I know He is pleased with me. I don't shrink back. That's why I have ALL that I ask for. I don't shrink back. I press in until I have ALL that He says I have. This is why I don't shrink back....that my faith be proven and pleasing to the one I love!

1 Peter 1:6-9
6 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8 Though you have not seen Him, you love Him; and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9 for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

I had a vision right before Thanksgiving. I was upset in regards to my husband innocently being a little flirtatious with someone, but after all that we have been through this last year it wasn't without reason. He used a pet name that he uses with me and I became possessive over it. When it's all you got, you embrace it! A part of me wanted to know if I was in the wrong and the other part wanted the enemy crushed for good! I said Lord your word says you crushed the enemy under your foot, I want him crushed! Something has a hold on my faith in this area and I want it crushed!! I kept repeating this pressing in letting it build my faith until I began to see an image of Jesus wrestling with a dragon. Soon the dragon was chained and held back. The Lord then spoke to me and said," is that enough?" I said, "no!" The Lord said, " But he is chained up away from you." I said, "No Lord, you said you crushed the head of the enemy and put him under foot. I want his head crushed!! I do not want to go through this again!" Then I saw a big lizard like a komodo dragon chained up. The Lord then asked, "Is this enough?" I said, " No Lord, it could grow back into the dragon. I don't want it coming back. I want it's head crushed! Crush it's head!!" Then I saw a cute little and innocent looking lizard in the palm of the Lord's hand. He asked, " and what about now?" I could not see His face, but I could see Him in all His grandeur with this little creature in the palm of His hand, and I thought but it's so cute and little, and innocent. But I still knew, it could grow back into the dragon and I am playing for keeps. I want to win and not lose, so I said to the Lord, " crush it's head." At this point the image became almost like a cartoon as the Lord took just His fingertip and squashed the head of lizard. It was kind of hilarious, but I knew in my spirit that is what the Lord was looking for. I felt a release of my faith, something break in the spirit. He wanted me to go all the way. He wanted me to see the enemy not as a dragon but as something so minoot compared to God. He wanted me to see how sin can start out as something so small and seeming so innocent, but needs to be crushed before it can grow into the dragon, and be willing to still crush it's head. I have learned it's best not to play with it (sin or the enemy) at all or let yourself be enticed by it even just a little bit. It's much easier to crush it when it's little. Yes, I believe the Lord was pleased with me after this. When I came home things were a lot better with my husband and I am continuing to press in. I won't shrink back.

Psalm 18:32
It is God who arms me with strength, and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of deer, and sets me on high places. He teaches my hands to make war, so that my arms can bend a bow of bronze … I have pursued my enemies and overtaken them; neither did I turn back again till they were destroyed, I have wounded them, so that they were not able to rise; they have fallen under my feet. For You have armed me with strength for the battle; you have subdued under me those who rose up against me.”

Genesis 3:15
"..and He will crush your head" NIV

Romans 16:20
The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet.
The grace of our Lord Jesus be with you.

When A Stander Says MERRY CHRISTMAS!

M - Marriage was created and ordained by God. It is a covenant between you, your spouse and God.
E - Jesus Christ was born to save the lost and give them eternal life.
R - Your Lord wants to restore, rebuild and resurrect your hurting or dead marriage for God to get all the glory, honor and praise.
R - Let God become your refuge and your rock who will rescue your beloved spouse from the enemy’s camp.
Y - You cannot change your spouse's heart, but God can.

C - Christ was born in a manger and died on the cross at Calvary for you, your spouse and your family's sins.
H - The Holy Spirit wants to be your Comforter, Counselor, Provider and Friend every day of your life and especially right now.
R - Resist the enemy. Resist giving up on your husband or wife as you stand with God for marriage restoration.
I - Ignore all the tricks, schemes and circumstances that come from the enemy, Satan. Keep your eyes on your Lord Jesus every day.
S - Stand firm on the promises of God. He will never fail you!
T - Trust in the Lord for your life and your marriage restoration. His timetable will be perfect!
M - When you married your spouse, never forget your wedding vows. You are no longer two, but one flesh with a covenant with God.
A - Do not allow anger, adultery or alcohol or any other sins of the flesh to destroy your marriage. Pray for the Lord to transform you and your spouse's heart completely.
S - Scriptures -God's Holy Word. Start reading and memorizing God's Word to change you and then transform your spouse's hardened heart.
Please continue to be faithful and pray for your beloved spouse and all prodigal spouses and children. Ask the Lord today to bless you and your family during the Christmas holidays with a special gift from Him. Start thanking the Lord every day for what He is doing on the other side of your mountain.
Be blessed,

Charlyne Steinkamp
Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.
rejoiceministries.org

There Is No Other

Im still bouncing around tonight on the inside. I just keep getting revelation after revelation! I love it when God speaks to my spirit! I wish He would speak directly to me about the things Ive been asking for a word on, but He would rather work on laying brick for my new foundation. I comply with reason because I know it is in my best interest and the best interest of others that I might have to share with.

First let me back track a little. I wrote in my last blog Starting to "Get It" about transitioning into praise regarding your husband. I forgot to mention an important part. I knew I was forgetting something, but couldn't remember at the time what I had wanted to share with you. That particular evening after I progressed into an atmosphere of praise I began to tell the Lord that I knew and could feel there was still something holding on to my husband. It wasn't the same evil spirit that I had been dealing with directly, it was something else, probably more to do with the soulish realm, the part of his will. Something holding on, something of influence not wanting to let go. I know it has to let go, why isn't it breaking? At that point the Lord started walking me back through the steps. He asked me, "what did you do to get rid of the other one?" Well, I was just praising you and proclaiming that you were God, and there is no other; You are God; and there is none like you. That Your purpose will stand, and you will do all that you please. Isaiah 46. " And before that?" I commanded that at the name of Jesus it (the enemy and my husband) had to bow and confess that Jesus Christ is Lord and Savior! Oh ya! That's it! Ha...The enemy hates that verse and it hates hearing the blood of Jesus applied. It's the sword that pierces it and it flees every time! So I went into command mode and started throwing out some karate chops. Take that spirit! Ha..how does that one feel? Bow! Ya! You've got to bow and confess that JESUS is Lord and Savior! In between I'm giving thanks to the Lord and we had a grand ol time. Im not making light of the situation. You have to get bold! You have to understand it truly pleases God to see you using and applying the weapons of warfare that He has given us. We can do it joyfully! That's what He wants! To see His sacrifice was not in vain. Make the enemy regret coming around messing with you and what is yours. Make sure he thinks twice before coming back around again. Remember the covenant Deuteronomy 28:7 “The LORD will cause your enemies who rise against you to be defeated before you. They shall come out against you one way and flee before you seven ways." This is part of the blood covenant God Himself has given to His children. When this battle first began, this was one of the first verses I came out swinging with. I am a woman of covenant. I am a woman of authority and I will see my enemies flee before me in seven ways!

Which leads me to today. Kind of a different topic but same principal. Yesterday my son attended a deliverance meeting with my life coach where he could go back through the generation and confess the iniquities of his parents and ancestors and release or break all the generational curses. My son looked at the list of sins that we were aware of and proclaimed " we did all that?" Yes, it's sad isn't it? " That's a lot." Yes it is, which is why the blessing of the Lord is hindered and each generation is worse than the one before, and each generation has a harder time in life, because no one is repenting.

Exodus 34:7

7 I lavish unfailing love to a thousand generations.
I forgive iniquity, rebellion, and sin.
But I do not excuse the guilty.
I lay the sins of the parents upon their children and grandchildren;
the entire family is affected—
even children in the third and fourth generations.”

2 Chronicles 7:14

14 if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.


So as I told you before, the Lord promised me now that " The oppressor will come to an end, and destruction will cease; the aggressor will vanish from the land (my land)." Isaiah 16:4 That is His purpose for the deliverance of our family right now. That includes no more divorce, no more destruction of any kind, including poverty or sickness. One of the promises and verses that is proclaimed during the deliverance process is that " ...A curse without cause shall not alight." Proverbs 26:2. This verse is coming up in a lot of lessons right now, so I know it is God moving to get everyone this revelation. For me, I had to really think about it and dwell on what it meant. First thing waking up this morning the Holy Spirit kept speaking this verse to my spirit. All morning long it pressed upon my mind and heart. I kind of pushed it aside and went shopping hoping to find some really good sales because we are really short on cash without me working right now, and I currently have no presents for my children. But we are at peace. If this is what Christmas is to be this year we are joyful. We held hands in prayer in front of the Christmas tree the other night just thanking the Lord that we have a roof over our heads, we have food, clothes, and electric. We have two nice vehicles and all the bills are paid. The greater gift is that my husband is still in the home. My children still have their dad. We have seen a mighty move of God this year in our lives, we have seen His faithfulness and love. We are more than satisfied. Again I share this with you because someone else needs to know the truth that they are not alone in their experience. The Lord has provided for us to spend Christmas with some of our family so my children will still get to enjoy gifts and others have already taken them shopping or sent gifts, they are not without. Just keep in mind, this may be the last Christmas we all get to experience in the this traditional manner, which is another reason I am trying to remain humble. Especially for us Christians, also another topic we will discuss soon. But back to this morning; I was getting kind of agitated. I said, Lord! This is not right! You promised me I would have no more seasons of lack! I've given to the church, I gave to my friends that needed help recently and I can't even provide a single gift to my children. Im not asking for much. I just wanted a jacket for me and my son, a gift or two for the kids, from us." ...A curse without cause shall not alight." Proverbs 26:2. Came to my spirit again. Okay Lord. You have been bringing this verse to my spirit all morning. Obviously there is something in it. What do you want me to do with it? "Apply it, press into it," He says.

" ...A curse without cause shall not alight." Proverbs 26:2. What does that mean? It means a curse without a legal claim cannot come to pass. What removes the legal right or claim to a curse? The blood of Jesus!! He has washed all our sins away. He has washed or removed all legal claims or (as I love) historical rights to any curse. Hence, the need to pray the prayer of forgiveness regarding the past sins of all our fathers and forefathers and ancestors. We call it the prayer of the Inquities of the Father, and another one is the Breaking of Curses, removing the legal right and historical claims. Which is why I love the verse Nehemiah 2:20

20 I answered them by saying, “The God of heaven will give us success. We his servants will start rebuilding, but as for you, you have no share in Jerusalem or any claim or historic right to it.”

When I first saw the above verse posted on a blog Spiritually Unequal Marriage, I snatched it up quickly and made it my own...I thank you Lord for giving me success in the rebuilding of my marriage and family! Thank you for giving the enemy no share! No claim! No historic right to my marriage!!! In The Name of Jesus! Hallelujah!

I pressed into the verse Proverbs 26:2 by thanking the Lord Jesus for washing away our sins leaving nothing for the curse to hold onto. I reminded Him of the prayers both my son and I had prayed asking for the forgiveness of the sins of our forefathers so that now there was NO LEGAL CLAIM, NO HISTORIC RIGHT for any curse to alight (or hold onto) . I put the blood of Jesus between us and the curse, between my marriage and the curse of divorce, etc. I put the blood of Jesus between my finances and the curse of poverty! Poverty is not God's will! Just so you know. :) But again the Lord then took me back to;

Philippians 2:10-11
10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

OH YA! You know what I did here. I called curse out by name and commanded it to bow!
Curse, you must bow and confess that Jesus IS Lord and Savior!!

Because my faith muscle has been exercised in this area over this last year it didn't take much for me to feel it break. NOW faith was in operation. God is good! I can't wait to see what comes about because of our new found deliverance. Total Restoration!

3 John 1

2 Beloved, I wish above all things that you may prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers.

Romans 14:11

“‘As surely as I live,’ says the Lord,
‘every knee will bow before me;
every tongue will confess to God.'

Isaiah 45:21-23

For there is no other God but me,
a righteous God and Savior.
There is none but me.
22 Let all the world look to me for salvation!
For I am God; there is no other.
23 I have sworn by my own name;
I have spoken the truth,
and I will never go back on my word:
Every knee will bend to me,
and every tongue will confess allegiance to me.”

I Am Starting To "Get It"

I meant to write about this a few days ago but I have been so busy and always wondering if writing these blogs is the right thing to do. Besides the things going on in the relationship realm I was also let go from my job for the first time ever in October and been kind of struggling in that area too, but the Lord has been providing. Even more now I have felt the need to be completely honest about myself and my struggles because it IS helping someone else. Someone else is going through similar stuff, someone else has felt, thought, or acted the same way. The difference is how we deal with it. Some of us turn to the Lord and keep pressing in until we have the victory. We need to share with others how it is done. Dr Juanita Bynaum said you can't pick up someone else if you have never fallen yourself. So true! Life is a journey of lessons! I think I am realizing now what those lessons are to be about. These lessons are not about developing yourself into the perfect person or having the perfect American dream. There is no such thing as perfection in our lifetime. Lol. This really has helped me to relax...a little. :) Our main goal is to learn to develop a relationship with Jesus and prove that God really is who He says He is, and that His word is true. How can that happen if we never fall? He has to be the one to pick us up so we can go and shout and proclaim "Look what the Lord has done for me!!" His power is perfected in our weakness. If you were strong all the time you would never see the real power of God. I can honestly say now I would not want that to happen. Seeing the real power of God is a tremendous honor. He is so amazing and He does things that just boggle your mind. In a crazy way you look back and almost wish to go through it again just to see His hand again. I feel for those people who have not yet understood the power in waiting on the Lord, allowing the test and trial to work on their character. They can't look forward with anticipation of the next good thing the Lord is going to do, and they can't look back without feeling the paining sting of every hurtful memory. It doesn't have to hurt anymore. It is a daily step by step walk in progress. Learning and trusting the Lord everyday. Something I realized from my dad a few days ago, it's okay to go at your own pace, the important thing is if you fall down that you get back up and you take another step. You keep reaching for the Lord.

Another lesson I'm learning during this journey is dealing with those negative thoughts and emotions. My understanding is increasing everyday. God wants us to have the mind of Christ, that includes how and what we think about others. The other day thoughts of my husbands actions came to mind and I started to think of him in not so good of terms. I started to get angry as I began to dwell on them I then stopped myself. I know this is a tactic of the enemy now to persuade me to open those doors. I realized later after thoughts came to mind from the lessons of Grahame Cooke talking about one's identity and thinking from the RIGHT starting place (The Art of Brilliantly Thinking), tucking them away isn't necessarily the right thing to do either. We have to act on them, do what God's says to do with them or they will keep coming back. So first, I went to the Lord and repented. Lord, you said to cast down EVERY thought that tries to exalt against the true knowledge of God. Please forgive me of those things I was thinking towards my husband. Those thoughts I was thinking about him were not true, those are not YOUR thoughts. That is not how YOU see him. That is not his TRUE identity in You. (This is where you start confessing God's word over your spouse and speak those things that are not, as though they are, so God can begin to line things up). You said he is a new creation in You. He has put off the old corrupted man and is living as a new man in Christ. He is bound to the mind of Christ and the purposes of Your heart. You have given him a new identity, one that honors you, for he is becoming the mirror image of Christ from glory to glory. (You just keep speaking God's word over him and this is where you begin to transition into praise. Thank the Lord for the husband you see him as and for the Lords goodness. Think and praise the Lord for all His good benefits and all the things you are believing Him for. As you keep going in praise you suddenly find yourself in mountain moving worship of the Lord God Almighty!)

This is what is pleasing to the Lord. This is where change occurs because of obedience and praise to the Lord. I can finally say I am starting to "get it".

Love Me To and Fro

Tonight he came home from work. I kissed him good morning. :) I made him a plate of dinner and he sat in his usual spot at the computer. I wished for a hug, for him to hold me just for a few moments but I let it go. I'm learning to let go, trusting that the Lord is working in him even though I can't see Him molding him and aligning things up in him. And it's okay tonight. I feel the strength of the Lord generating from His love. He told me again tonight He loved me in His word. "For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him." 2 Chronicles 16:9. It was this time last year my husband started acting weird towards me. Accusing me of talking to other men, coming home talking about how another woman didn't want him, and when asked later if he was talking to another woman he denied it. When asked what was wrong, because a wife of 17 yrs you know when something is different in your man even though he isn't talking, and his response was "nothing". So you ask again because you know better and he says "nothing". Then you state I know something is and his response is "That's it! I'm leaving! I don't know when, but I'm leaving!" Of course you are left bewildered and frustrated and wondering what did you do wrong even though deep down you know it's not you, just some kind of excuse for his own short comings, it still breaks you down. It was this time last year he started talking about a girl that was let go from his work. "For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him." 2 Chronicles 16:9. My loving God was keeping His promise, His covenant to me, a daughter of covenant. I didn't know what was going on but God did. His eyes were going to fro because He loved me. He had already removed her from my husbands presence. A month later I found out what was going on and the Lord answered my prayer and let it be revealed to me where my husband met her. She was the one he had talked about that was let go from work and supposedly no one knew quite why. The first thought that came to my mind was this verse "For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him." 2 Chronicles 16:9. During the later months when I was scared and asking the Lord to remove her He reminded me that He already did and not to be afraid because He was in control. The Lord loved me. He kept His word to me. So tonight I love Him all the more. Wanting to give more. I spent time this morning fasting and praying for my husband. Then I started praising the Lord because I know He has good purposes for our marriage. He has brought us this far. I started to declare His word in faith, then I got deeper into worship of Him. I struggled with trust this week in regards to my husband. I finally broke down one day and said Lord this is driving me mentally crazy! I can't go on like this! I know I'm not trusting you, please help me to get my eyes off of him and back on YOU. So this morning I could worship the Lord in love and tell Him because of His word I can trust my husband because I am trusting YOU! I am trusting You to put the love, honor, faithfulness, and integrity in my husband that You purposed. I trust the Holy Spirit is working to deliver my husband and bring truth and change to his heart. I trust You Lord that You will do all that You said You will do! I trust in your love for me! I love You Lord Jesus!

Later my neighbor asked me to come over. It's the first time we have had a real talk. She was telling me about her relationship and trying to figure out what to do. As I began to share with her from my heart she started crying. She exclaimed, " This is amazing! I saw you! I saw what you were going through at the beginning of the year. ( Yes I was kind of puzzled at this point). I saw how devastated you were and how brokenhearted you were and now you are sitting here witnessing to me! How can you sit here smiling and talking about love with all that you have been going through?? Never-mind I know, it's God! But how? It doesn't make sense! You are an amazing woman!" In my mind I'm thinking ahhh..this is what it's all about. This is the testimony God wants people to see. It has nothing to do with me or my words. She personally saw what I was going through and because I chose to stick things out and obey God in His way, it was a testimony that spoke louder than anything that I could have said. My actions and words lined up with Gods word, and caused her to be able to see the truth in it. Of course I could not take any of the credit. I've wronged my husband in the past. So I shared with her all that the Lord had brought me through and what His word says about love. It isn't going to be easy, but if you persevere in His promises you get what you are asking and believing for. She ask, "but what do you do when your needs are not being met?" My response is you go to the Lord and trust Him to meet all your needs. Seek Him for fulfillment first, take your expectations to Him, not your man, and pray for your significant other, then the Lord will move in him. She sees me smiling, talking with hope and love, and now she is motivated to do the same. Now I'm understanding more of His ways. He could have left me by the wayside when I sinned but He didn't. He loved me unconditionally...He loved me in this... "For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him." 2 Chronicles 16:9. He could have ignored my prayers and let my husband wander off with the other woman but He didn't. He forgave me of my sins and helped me to do the same for my husband, because I trusted in His love for me.

Tonight another friend made a comment. How do you ever trust again when something like that happens? You can't, and if there isn't any trust, how can you have a relationship? You can't. She's right. I thought back to this morning and I thought God, I am so glad I have you, I can trust in YOU. I trust you and I love you. I trust you are rebuilding my marriage from the ground up. You are laying a new foundation. You are rebuilding that which was devastated and destroyed. You are fortifying and inhabiting that which was lying in ruins. Ezekiel 36:26. Yup, you can't rebuild on the old stuff, that's why God is in the business of renewal. I am all His. And if tomorrow I find everything has crumbled I will keep loving and trusting in Him. In the meantime I trust He is restoring love in my husbands heart for me. One day he will be affectionate towards me. He will hold me. Why? Because God is working in his heart to be a man that loves me they way Jesus loves the church. I declare that my husband loves me with the love that Jesus loves me with. A love that is faithful, unconditional, a love that is filled with integrity and honor, and a love that is self sacrificing. I know God will put good treasures in my husbands heart for me and our children. I can rest in the Lords love tonight, placing all my expectations on Him and not my husband, because Jesus loves me and is working things out in my husband for me. Yes..Yes..Yes... "For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to shew himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him." 2 Chronicles 16:9.