Possess My Being As A Vessel To Be Sanctified & Honored

I have to reflect on this because it does make me so happy that my husband is in the home and parenting his children more and more.(Its never too late! Children need their fathers! They never stop longing for their fathers! Trust me Im 37 and I can't wait for the fulfillment of this promise...Malachi 4:5-6 5“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet BEFORE the great and awesome day of THE LORD COMES. 6 And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers ....” Women you need to quite manipulating fathers as well! Good or bad! Do your part and let God do the rest! Let me share with you how.:) I see it as a direct answer to my prayers. All the changes, a reflection of my obedience and perseverance in FAITH and APPLICATION of Gods word, the development of more positive behaviors in myself, and learning how to understand my husbands needs, how he thinks and feels as a man, how to work towards operating in harmony with him, and WAIT on God to bring about the right changes. Yes, I said WAIT! Praise God if you've never had any issues with your man! Don't worry! Then Im not speaking to you! Hey! I first had to learn how to trust God and become the quiet and submissive wife. Like Joyce Meyer says, I tried it the worlds way and it never worked. 17 years of "discussing" that became nagging, that became screaming, yelling and fighting (James 4:2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.) He was a hard headed man....and because I could not figure out how to get what I wanted and needed from my husband, I, like the song sings...started looking for love in all the wrong places...looking for love in too many faces...even though that was not what I wanted to do deep down inside. God intervened so many times on so many levels until, like my re-occurring dream analysis stated.."I would be floored" Well, that became true as "I was floored". Hellen Keller stated, "discipline is the gateway through which knowledge enters the mind of a child." You ain't never too old for your Heavenly Father to lovingly discipline you as His child to get knowledge into you. I have now learned to embrace His discipline and allow it to draw me so close to Him and I love Him all the more for it! Mmmm....I don't even know if I can go on writing right now...I have to keep pausing because I am so overwhelmed by His mere presence as my heart wells up with deep love and appreciation for what He has done and all that He taught me. Through some time (it wasn't overnight)my husband didn't know how to deal with his own perspective on these issues...because I was a nagging, screaming, and what he considered demanding and controlling wife (come on ladies, I know you are hearing me on this) his heart became hard and he started dancing to the same tune and started looking for love in all the wrong places...looking for love in too many faces...although, there were other enticing and inspiring spiritual factors I won't get into right now, the Lord once again intervened in a great and mighty way. The responsibility of change fell on me (my ladies we've had this discussion) because I knew the Lord, I trusted in the Lord, and I knew His word.So I submitted everything I was inside to the Lord, and He taught me and He walked with me. It started with taking accountability for my own actions, behaviors, thoughts and feelings, and repenting to my husband, then learning how to submit to him as submitting to God. (my resources during this time became Winning Him Without Words by Dineen Miller and Lynn Donovan and their blog "Spiritually Unequal Marriage", A Wife's Prayer by Pamela Hines, and I keep diving deeper still into The Power of A Praying Wife and The Power of Prayer to Change Your Marriage(more in depth) books and videos by Stormie Omaritan. It just keeps speaking to me in different ways in different seasons! ) I learned how destructive any nagging or screaming was to my husband and children and how quickly it caused him especially, to shut down and build up almost indestructible walls. Thank God He can tear down Jericho walls in a mans heart! Proverbs 18:19 "An offended brother is more unyielding than a fortified city, and his disputes are like the bars of a fortress" I never want to cause my husband to build up walls like that ever again! If I had only known! Not only did I feel the shame of conviction wondering how could I have ever justified the behaviors that hurt him as a Holy Spirit filled woman of God (blinded by my own pain)...it was almost an impossible feat to tear down these walls! Of course for me it was. He told me nothing I could say or do would change his heart. Ya...but, well, we all underestimated the power of God to change a man's heart. Every time I want to give up I hear His voice loud and clear and it causes me to submit again and again. The Holy Spirit WILL NOT be underestimated! I guess Ive said all that to share this...I've learned men mentally put things into compartments, they think on them and disect them in their thoughts, where you and I can't see them. If you start nagging and pressuring them and not giving them a chance to process in their own way, you cause them to slam those drawers shut. You might need to remind them a time or two to revisit those compartments, but say it kindly and then leave it alone. No need to nag or yell, and throw tantrums, or call them names.( And yes, let me tell you that your disrespect to your husband IS SIN and WILL HINDER YOUR ANSWERED PRAYERS AND BLESSINGS, and just like any contempt or disorder in a court room, God WILL stop to deal with you and bring about order in you before proceeding on with him. Keep that in mind). Once they feel disrespected, they many times will not re-visit those issues. They will close up, many will walk away, or like my husband finally communicated to me, pull back inside like a turtle. See? Try breaking through that shell. If they don't respond to you, put it to prayer and God will respond. Remember first Peter 3:1 "In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives" Some state that if a man won't listen to the TRUTH, become quiet and he will fall in love with your beauty. A kind, gentle, obedient woman is beautiful to both man and God. It may not be immediate, but pray for a word on the issue, and keep praying it and seek God to make whatever changes you need to make in YOURSELF, while that seed continues to grow in him. Keep watering with praise and trust in the Lord. Know that He has sent the Holy Spirit as He said He would to activate His word, until you see it sprouting and bringing forth the requested fruit. I can take you through all my prayers and steps, but now that the walls are coming down Ive been able to go back to my husband regarding issues like parenting and say gently I need you to step in when you hear the kids talking back, being disrespectful, and yelling at me. They need your authority. I appreciate it when you take charge (that's another area of submission I had to learn to exercise, letting him take charge even if it was different from the way I would have done things, whether its my children or the house chores. The more I let him be him and do things his way, the more he is willing to step up....aaand it's really not that bad. The kids are surviving and having some help with the chores is better than no help, and the more I show appreciation for what he is doing and affirming him in those things, the more he does, the better he does.There is more order in my home, less stress and strife. My husband feels more respected which causes him to feel more confident and loved, and gives him a sense of purpose. All that God ordained it to be!) (I know, I know...where is your appreciation and affirmation? It will come! Keep planting those seeds! God says you will not be without honor. I always reflect back to Colossians 3:22-24 22 " You who are servants who are owned by someone, obey your owners. Work hard for them all the time, not just when they are watching you. Work for them as you would for the Lord because you honor God. 23 Whatever work you do, do it with all your heart. Do it for the Lord and not for men(not just for your husband). 24 Remember that you will get your reward FROM THE LORD. HE WILL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU SHOULD RECEIVE. You are working for the Lord Christ." Jesus also told Peter you do what I tell you to do because you follow me. I hold onto this with all my heart because it is so true. It doesn't matter what anybody, including my husband says or does...I answer to God alone and He is faithful to me. My God honors me by removing people from husbands life when I pray, like He did for Sarah. I just kept praying that my husband honors me as a Holy Temple unto the Lord. This has been my prayer when dealing with afflictions of lust and perversions, but lately I have also been applying it in the area needing to be respected and honored as a wife and mother. 1 Thessalonians 4:4 "That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honor". I am my husbands vessel, and not only do I need to possess my own vessel in sanctification and honor, but my HUSBAND needs to learn how to possess MY BEING as a vessel to be sanctified and honored, and he needs to learn to pass that onto our children. I wish I didn't have to say it, but vice versa ladies. He is your vessel and you need be possessing him as such too. It also equivelates to loving each other. Therefore everyday, through the changes in my husbands behavior and involvment I am seeing the love of God being restored in my husband to me. There's still a ways to go, but for now, faith spoken declarations and praying HIS word that my husband would love me as Christ loves the church, laying down his life for me in a self sacrificing not a self seeking way (and Ive had to do that for him!), that he would be more than satisfied with my beauty and enraptured with my love, that his heart would honor me and trust in me as declared in Prov. 31, that he would take the log out of his own eye and be accountible for his own behaviour and duties, ( How many of you know where I am coming from with that one? I had to go back to making that a prayer recently because he started being critical again and really coming at me for things he should have been responsible for and helping me with.)These are all scriptures you can pray and make as your declarations of faith. The bible says a man does not know the way he should walk. In essence, he is an empty vessel that can be filled and directed by your prayers. That is an awesome and powerful privelege! Of course I could keep going on because the word of God is alive and it never stops speaking! I have to stop somewhere. I am just so happy to just to see things evolving as the Lord has promised and I had to share it! Im sure I got way off topic of what I intended to say, but I don't ever know when to shut up. You can ask my husband. He'll tell ya! :)