I AM STILL STANDING IN HIS MIRROR IMAGE

It's been a rough couple of weeks, but I am still here. Fighting with a greater confidence. Things are all coming together in my heart and mind now. My security in the Lord is back where it used to be, my understanding is beyond what I could have seen, and my faith is greater in the Jesus in me. I am standing as an individual strengthened in my Christ once again, relying on my relationship with Him and not my husband, not needing or demanding him anymore. I can't believe how much I have changed this last year, but even more so, my understanding just in the last two weeks as I had to press into the warfare that I thought was coming to an end. I have to laugh thinking how much I was begging God here the other night that this was it, this was all I could give. I needed something back in return. I have gone past all I have ever known and all that I have ever done, honestly hoping He would miraculously just put an end to the battle, convict my husband in one night like so many other testimonies I have heard, and all of a sudden he would be saying, " I'm sorry, I love you", instead of another horrible Valentines evening of "I don't love you, I don't care about you anymore!" But I am just a girl of fantasies. Instead the Lord tells me He's not going to do that because it's about the journey. Oh goody me! I get the long version of the drawn out fantasy. I will have the desire of my heart, but as I said before, God is refining my life, my marriage, setting not only myself free of all past bondage and oppression, and every single bad habit, but also my family,and more importantly, transforming my husband and drawing him into true salvation and a real intimate relationship with Jesus, Himself. I cannot believe how deep we have gone this time. Each time Him saying..mmmm, just a little bit more...just a little bit deeper. I laugh because all along I have been praying Lord take me deeper. Lord set us free. Lord, my children will be children of freedom and children of the promise. I just didn't know we were going to do it all in one night. That's what it feels like. But then again, I prayed for acceleration of the blessing. I guess He knew with His help I could do it. Lol Well, the blessing and the anointing doesn't always come without a cost. Think about what kind of a spoiled brat we would be then. Thinking we are always entitled to everything we wanted without any appreciation or character. Sounds like a couple of teenagers I know of here lately.

So here I am. Feels like the night I had eight teeth pulled before getting my braces, but it was worth all the pain to have a beautiful smile. I know you think I am crazy! How can I know my prayers are being answered when I keep going through one more thing after another. That's how I know. Every step Jesus is directing me what to do, what to pray, strengthening me for just one more day. He is so amazing! He sees the heart and needs of the other person. I just needed to lay down my life for them and pray for them. I needed to learn to react differently to my husband and pray. Just like the other night. I sat alone eating dinner by myself again. Thinking about how he screamed at me on Valentines day also saying "you always get what you want." I'd like to beg to differ, but there was no use in arguing the same argument. All I wanted was my husband to sit with me, not at the computer. I remembered right before he told me about her that I had asked him to come sit with me and the kids for dinner and he hollered at me "I don't want to, I am leaving soon." I had no idea where that was coming from, but it hurt. Now I had to deal with this hurt too. Insult upon insult, but my God is greater!!! This time I said, "Lord thank you for sitting here with me and enjoying dinner with me. I am not alone. You are here with me." Immediately I felt His presence upon me and the rest of my night became a night of praise. That is all He was looking for. Looking for me to turn to Him instead of yelling at my husband that he doesn't spend time with me, only to have him argue that he does. Only this time he would remind me that he doesn't care anymore, so it was pointless anyways. That praise turned into powerful weapons of worship that pulls down strongholds. That is what God means when He says our weapons are not carnal but mighty in the pulling down of strongholds!

2 Corinthians 10:4-6

4 The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. 5 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 6 And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete.

ONCE OUR OBEDIENCE IS COMPLETE!

Now my obedience is nearing it's completion. My new behavior is becoming habit.(Even my husband commented he noticed I am not reacting the way I used to. Amen! That was the goal right? To become silent and show him with my ways, as the bible directs) I have learned to think and react from the right starting place. I have more of God's word in me. I have been delivered from several strongholds and generational curses. I have learned to put my needs and security back in the Lord and not my husband. I have learned to submit my husband to the Lord and not try to control him or discipline him myself. I have been learning to love him and respect him the way that God wants me to. I have come to the realization that when my husband errors or gets trapped in sin I am to pray for him. ( Where the heck as Christians did we forget to do this for our spouses? They wrong us and hurt us , they fail to meet our expectations and we want to leave them, condemn them, or kick them to the curb. We forget they need us to pray for them just as much as our brothers or sisters, or our neighbors.) I have learned how to help someone else get through their journey as long as they are willing to travel it. There is a great reward and blessing just on the other side.

So tonight I rest in peace. My husband has been showing some affection towards me,to which I am grateful to the Lord! But I know something he doesn't. God is in control and He is changing him everyday. I have been praying and declaring " Thank you Lord for making my husband the mirror image of Jesus from glory to glory." His word cannot return to Him void! Hallelujah! It has to accomplish what was spoken, what it was sent to do. You may not see it working today or tomorrow, but one day it will just spring up! Today as I meditated on that prayer the Lord ever so gently rested in my heart showing me that also means that my husband WILL love me the way Jesus loves me because he is the mirror image of Jesus. Because he is the mirror image of Jesus, he will be intimate with me the way Jesus is intimate with me. Because he is the mirror image of Jesus, he will love me with the same kind of passion and affection that Jesus loves me with. Because he is the mirror image of Jesus, he will be attentive to me in the same manner Jesus is attentive to me, to my needs, to all my wants, to all my likes and desires. It just goes on. That's how good God is! There is no end to His goodness or capabilities! It's all in learning to trust Him and apply all that He is trying to give you, and wait for His timing.

To be honest, I hate closing on this note without giving you all the specifics of my battle and training. I know you are eager to get going and applying these same tactics in your life, but it must always start in you seeking Him and trusting Him first. Your walk may differ of course. Many of you will not have all the struggles I have had. Others may have more. God is in control. He will direct you and strengthen you. He will never leave you or forsake you. Jesus died loving you, and you.

Trust in this .....as you pray for your spouse know...

2 Corinthians 4:16

Therefore we do not give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day.

Thank you Lord! For I know the outer man of my husband is dying, it is being destroyed! (that's the part you are seeing with your eyes,the part that is raging against you because it is corrupt and dying!) but his inner man is being renewed in You and by Your Spirit day by day! (that's the part you choose to believe and trust in!)
I don't look at the circumstances! I choose to believe in You and Your word! (Not what my eyes see or ears hear) You are greater! You are above and not beneath the circumstances and what my eyes see!

As you are praying this for your husband you will see that your old self is dying too, and YOU are being renewed day by day in your mind and heart.

(Trust God! He says He will compensate you for all your trouble and pain. He says you WILL see the defeat of your adversaries! Your ears WILL hear it!)

2 Corinthians 3:18

We all, with unveiled faces, are looking as in a mirror at the glory of the Lord and are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory; this is from the Lord who is the Spirit.


I find in myself now and I can see... I AM becoming the mirror image of Jesus. I AM behaving more like Jesus. I Am thinking more like Jesus. I Am loving more like Jesus!