Blessing Your Husband, #6 Sweet Aroma

Back to basics. Before I continue on any further, I feel there are a couple of things the Lord wants me to address. The first is being salvation. There is no greater gift or more important purpose of a believing wife than to seek the salvation of her husband. It can become an excellent journey for you, because as you seek the Lord on your husbands behalf, the more you will learn how to let go of your "control" and let God. The closer you will come to the Lord as you learn to trust HIM for everything, especially that of your spouse. You will find your purposed beauty and suddenly your husband will discover this deep inner beauty in you as well. Guess, what? Nothing can compare to it!

Many a times the Lord brought this verse up to me, "13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy." 1 Corinthians 7:13-14. I did not always understand the importance of this verse until now. I just knew that I had to be obedient to it so many times when I wanted to give up and walk away, but now that I have held onto it and obeyed it, God has begun to bless my obedience to His word. Corinthians 7:16 goes on to say that, " How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?" (P.s here. If your unbelieving spouse doesn't want to line up with God's word he will eventually leave. The light cannot comprehend the dark and the Lord will not make you continue in your sacrifice without some kind of reward, so remain obedient and the Lord will work it out to your favor without judgement against you ) What greater gift can we help give a loved one than to obtain eternal life and all the love and blessings the Lord has to offer? What greater gift can you give to God but to allow Him to use you as a tool to captivate the one that His heart longs for? We've all been called to this kind of ministry. Once again, our sacrifice to unconditional love and obedience will always lead to great rewards. I know it can be hard to separate our need as a wife sometimes to love our husbands as a brother, but we must. Do as the bible says and win him over with your behavior and not your words. There are so many things that this command ties into and we will address, but let me try to keep this short and simple for now. I think I will follow up with a video later.

"Wives, be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they maybe won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives." 1 Peter 3:1-2.

I know, you say but you don't understand, I don't have anything to submit to, he won't take his place and do what he should be doing, or I don't have anything to respect, or I am the submissive wife. First of all there is always something to submit to, you are just going to have to shut up and do it, find something to submit to for now. I don't care if he says you don't need those red vines, put them back. I'm not kidding. I know some of you are going to go irate about this but I am telling you this is how to work things out God's way. I've done it the other way, I did it my way and the worlds way and I was losing. There is a balance and that balance has to be in trusting God at His EVERY word. I was the disrespectful wife. I didn't see myself as being disrespectful though, but to God's standards I was. My actions, my behavior, my lack of respect and love caused my husbands heart to turn hard towards God. I caused my husband to connect every blessing we ever received during our marriage to something negative. He can't even enjoy the good things that came from the Lord because of the bad memories he has connected them to. That is horrible! As a Christian woman there was nothing more horrendous than standing in the way of the cross! I felt utterly ashamed with that realization, but that is what we are doing when we don't respect and honor our husbands the way we have been commanded to. Thank God He promised me new joy and new memories! Now I know why. You have to obey and give God time to work. Again, you must keep in mind there is a great reward. God saying well done, instead of the shame that comes from giving an account to what you could have done and didn't do, because nobody was "going to tell you". You have to fight it through in prayer, not by trying to change or save your husband yourself. I am not speaking to the women that are being sexually or physically abused. There is a balance and you must seek safety for you and /or your children. Keep praying for your husband and being obedient to the Lord and you will get your testimony.

During this journey, the one where my husband said he didn't love me anymore, he was no longer attracted to me, you know, the one that brought me to my knees in devastation saying Lord, why should I continue holding on? How will he ever love me again? How can I make him attracted to me again? The Lord took me back to 1 Peter 3:1-7. "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment...Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." Did you catch that? A gentle and quiet spirit is what men and God equate to beautiful. Not a nagging outraged wife. It continues, " For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their HOPE IN GOD used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands. Respecting, loving, honoring your husbands is a BIG DEAL! It ties into so many areas of your life, their life, your children's life, God's purpose and command! If you follow these you earn the right to be called the daughter of Sarah. I will discuss the honor that follows this later. An honor that causes God to move on your husband and remove other women (men) from their lives on your behalf! Hallelujah!

"The love of God in a woman who is fully committed to Christ is irresistible. You won't need to say a word to your man. Your loving actions will speak volumes!" ~ Winning Him Without Words, Lynn Donovan & Dineen Miller

How beautiful! God has given me another chance to show my husband the cross. To prove that God is who He says He is. To allow God to bring healing and change through salvation to my husband by letting Him heal and change me through the gift of salvation. I have never been so thankful! I believed, but never truly realized the extent of God's grace and mercy or the power of His salvation till now. None of us are good without it. None of us can love without it. I want to love, I want to be loved. I want God in the end to say "job well done!" I want the blessing reigning in our lives and I want to see my husband walking out his salvation.I want my husband to see Christ in me. I want to be the sweet aroma of Christ to both God the Father and my husband. I want to smell good!! lol

Let's pray....

Lord, teach me the kind of obedience You are calling me to in my marriage. Help me to be the aroma of Christ to my spouse. Be my strength in the midst of whatever life brings. In the holy and blessed name of Jesus Christ, Amen. ~ Winning Him Without Words, Lynn Donovan & Dineen Miller

Jesus you said that you are the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. Thank you for sending the Holy Spirit to my husband to show him that you are the way, the truth, and the life. Thank you Holy Spirit for helping my husband to accept Jesus as his Savior and make Him Lord of his life! In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen. John 14:6

Lord Jesus, forgive me if I have been a stumbling block in my spouse's salvation experience. I turn over my will to Your capable hands and I will trust You to save my spouse in Your time and in a way that brings You honor.

Pour a fresh anointing of the Holy Spirit into me each morning to empower me to live my faith authentically before my spouse. Reveal to me the truth of 1 Peter 3:1 and how my words can bring healing or how they can hinder. Let me learn to love my husband with Your love. Let him find Your love irresistible. Remind me daily that You are relentlessly pursuing my spouse and will never give up. Teach me to pray effectively for my spouse, asking for salvation and protection from evil. I ask in the life changing name of Jesus, Amen. ~ Winning Him Without Words, Lynn Donovan & Dineen Miller

"let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ's blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water." Hebrews 10:22
Father, I thank You my husband has a heart to draw near to You, and as he does, You draw near to him. Give him the things that are necessary for his life when he submits himself to you in prayer.(A Wife's Prayer, Pamela Hines)

Thank you Father for allowing my husband to come close to You. Help him lay aside the sin and weights of this world and seek Your face in prayer daily. You said You would forgive his sin and heal the land if he humbles himself and prays. Heal the land of my husband's life, my life, and the land of our marriage. Psalm 109:4, Hebrews 12:1, 2 Chronicles 7:14.

Romans 15:13
13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

I pray now that You, the God of all hope, will fill my husband with faith and hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (The Power To Change Your Marriage, Stormie Omartian)

2 Thessalonians 3:5
5 May the Lord direct your hearts into God’s love and Christ’s perseverance.

I pray you would direct his heart into the love of God and into the patience of Christ. (The Power To Change Your Marriage, Stormie Omartian)

To be continued.....

God's going to do HIM!

Make Me Your Bride

Later I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your nakedness. I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant with you, delcares the Sovereign Lord, and you became mine.
Ezekiel 16:8

Now that's a love letter. Just melted my heart and sent warmth down into the depths of my belly. Talk to me, talk to me some more, the passionate lover of my soul!

Constipated Christians!

Just real quick, talking about mandates. You know I was given a mandate this year to be strong and courageous and lead God's people into the promised land. I have started to focus on this more and more and the thought came to mind, of course I won't be able to cross into the promised land unless you are with me. That's just the way it works. So come on people and get with me on this! I want to move on into something better already. In my mind the image came across of people behind me pushing me into it instead me pulling them. Kind of chuckled at that notion then something went ding! That's just it! It goes back to the idea of blessing and promoting your leaders before you can experience the blessing and promotion. Not trying to call myself your leader, but I have been mandated to lead others on. Which leads me to the phrase I heard Rodney Howard Browne use,constipated Christians. You can't PROCEED because you are waiting on a MOVEMENT from the Lord. That cracks me up everytime I think of it! Truth is God is waiting on you. Are you with me or not? Let's get moving!!

Raw Emotion

Hello Folks. I said I was going to spend the month of November blessing my husband each day and sharing those with you. Yes, I most definately pray exactly what I am writing and then some. Even if you don't read them it reinforces things in me and blesses me, so it's all good. ;) I knew when I set out to do this I would become a target of spiritual attack. I have been under heavy artillery since January. I had to pray for reinforcements or I would not have been able to make it this far. The Lord is faithful. As you should know by now, I am a very active participant in the spiritual world. I, apparently am a very powerful participant which is why I am under attack so heavily, the enemy for one is scared, two he is losing more and more ground everyday. He doesn't like losing and does whatever he can to re-obtain the ground he lost. I feel compelled to share with you the things I have been battling especially the last couple of days.

Of course things would become more and more of a distraction in my life to keep me from writing about God's work in my life and His word, which is why I started to fall behind in my postings and then completely lose it the other day. Yes, I almost had a break down at the attempts of the enemy yesterday, but a call and prayer with my life coach helped me to get a grip and strength, and direction to help get focused. The bible says that there is power when two or more pray in agreement, that Jesus is in our presence. I am human and the struggle and battle went deep. I needed help and I am not ashamed to admit or share that in hopes it helps someone else. Without telling you too many details right now of the cause, let me just explain what happened. I have been fighting for my marriage like never before as you know if you have been following me on Facebook. During this time I have increased in my knowledge of the enemies tactics.I have been gaining ground in my marriage, self, and inheritance in my bloodline through Jesus victorously! The war isn't over yet, but it's not necessarily just about my marriage. The bible says in John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. Over the years he hasn't been able to conquer me through myself or other attempts, so he decided to beef up his attempts by attacking me through my husband. By trying to remove him from the home again. Hell, all soldiers of combat know military strategy 101. Take off the head, the body will fall. Take the spiritual leader and head of the family's blessing from the home, they suffer all forms of spiritual and emotional devastation, poverty instead of God's prosperity, and lack of protection are the greatest disfigurations of this kind of warfare. I have heard this is supposed to be the year of blessing over the children, mainly daughters, so Satan is attacking families to destroy the children as well. Especially the daughters. They are so much more susceptle to the lack of a father's protection. This is not just about me, this is about my children, and my grandchildren. I can't stop the fight for their sakes!

The second reason for the attack as I stated in a previous blog is to steal the word and the seeds that have been planted in me. My time of harvest has come and it's huge! Enormous! More than I could have ever thought or imagined.The enemy knows more about my call during this time than I do and he is scared! I have to allow myself to be disclipened by this testing.I am being promoted to the next level. Jesus said in the rest of John 10:10 "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." He says James 1:12 "God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." I am enduring this testing and trying of my faith because He is working a completely new foundation in me that is bringing about new life as He promised me last October 31, 2011. New life, new joy, new memories. Things that my eyes have never seen, things that my ears have never heard, things that my mind could never conceive. Only I didn't know what it was going to take to get there, nor did I think I would be caught off guard the way I was, or that the enemy would use my husband the way he did. What better weapon than someone that knows me intimately, someone I trusted more than anyone and trusted to meet my insecurities, someone's insecurities and weaknesses I trusted in (that's a good one, see how the Lord works? He knew my heart, and He wanted to refine it, because that wasn't right either. We are to trust only in God, find fullment in Him first! Have NO other God's before me He says!). As a woman and wife everything my husbands says to me goes straight to the heart and it embeds in my very essence of being a woman. My smile, that I had always been complimented on and became my trade mark and learned to use as a blessing, my age and body of course, my personality, my sacrifices as a wife and mother, you name it he attacked it. He took my very confidence in a way that I had never experienced before. Did God warn me ahead of time? Yes, He knew what was coming, I didn't listen because I wasn't staying completely plugged in. He told me more than once to fireproof my marriage, get the walls built up. (Sure Lord, I will...Ill start working on that more...tomorrow...the next day..) He then showed me in a vision (read my blog,Sound The Alarm and my dream analysis about this house on FB. Had I only understood what it was revealing to come!)to keep my eyes on Him. Solely on Him. He would become my confidence and the battle was His. God is always in control. He allows things to happen to teach us, to allow us that freedom of choice, to push us into the next level of understanding and blessings! I have learned through this how subtly the enemy can deceive us into thinking and feeling and accepting his choices as our own. Through this I have been learning how to overcome the enemy in new ways and greater levels. God is faithful to His word. He said if we endure the trials we will be lacking in nothing and will have the reward of life and more life! I am no longer lacking certain wisdoms. I am increasing in spiritual power through knowledge. I am gaining the freedoms that I was promised in His word and inheritance and these things bring about my new life!

Believe it or not, it took the enemy a long time to get things into exact position to attack the way he did. He doesn't have the power of God to just make things happen or to read our thoughts, he has to wait and watch our behaviour and feed us thoughts and lies after lies and negative emotions and line people and things up just right. I began to learn along time ago that the battlefield begins in the mind. I began to accept God's word into my mind and believe only in His word, which is what helped save me in the beginning of this battle. Because I know that God is His word!! If you get His word, you get Him! There is no separation of the two. I first knew I could trust God to help as He always promised.I knew anything not inline with God's word was of the enemy. The bible says we do not wage war against flesh and blood but against princes and principalities. Principalites work through our personalities. I knew the things my husband was saying did not all come from him because somethings he said attacked the desires I had been harboring in my heart, certain desires I had not expressed to my husband, he would not have known. Then came physical evil manifestations, not only to me but to my daughter. That's when I started becoming more bold. You don't mess with a momma bears' cubs! Of course during this time I am learning and God has brought me more people to pray with and be supported by and I begin to see some breakthrough, positive changes in my husband.

In the beginning I could not do much. I was paralyzed by fear. All I could do was hold onto small words and a scripture or two. One of the scriptures I first held onto was Psalms 25:3 "No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame." I knew God said that whatever I trusted in Him would be done, whatever I asked for. Now I was being tested on that. I shook uncontrollably for months. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. I had to call different prayer lines throughout the day just to keep sane enough to make it through work. Everyday, he said and did things to me that were beyond me. I held on to the promises of God. I fell down, He picked me up several times. One time my husband said something so horrible to me that I could only picture my hand holding onto the foot of Jesus. All I could say in my mind is I am holding onto You Father. Over and over. I couldn't let my heart grow cold. I had to survive this God's way to win. I had to forgive. I had to endure. Another time I lay there shaking uncontrolable and I felt the Holy Spirit move through me saying "He is faithful. He is faithful." I held onto those words. I knew who I was in Christ and I knew who He was to me. Now, He gave me this promise, Isaiah 16:4 "The oppressor will come to an end, and destruction will cease; the aggressor will vanish from the land(my land meaning my home, my family)" Halelujah!! This is when my marriage started going through deliverance. That very next day I started going through deliverance of the strongholds that had been in me for so long, such as anger and anxiety. Now I am learning who Christ is exactly in me.

Like I said, I have learned how the enemy works through our minds and gains control of our emotions. I have become keen to the attacks on my mind now. It doesn't take me as long to figure out the thoughts that come across are not my own. Monday I was being attacked with thoughts against my husband. During my second deliverance meeting I had participated in something called a judgement seat. I had to vision myself and my husband being opposites in a courtroom. God the Father as the judge and Jesus was standing behind my husband. I was allowed to confront my husband with all that I held against him in my heart of pain. Jesus just kept his hand on my husbands back as he sat there. Then I was told that this court was illegal. I had no right to hold anything or to judge my husband in anyway. Only God could do that. At this time I had to forgive him on all the accounts I brought up against him. After that, I was asked what I wanted to happen. I walked over and kneeled before him because I could feel my error, I could feel his pain. I didn't seek vengenance I just wanted his pain to be gone. I didn't want him to hurt anymore, that hurt kept him from loving and receiving God's love.I wanted him to feel loved. I learned during my journey that hurting people hurt people. That is why it is so important to forgive, people also act out when they feel a lack of fulfillment, they need to seek the right kind of fulfillment, and we can help them find it. At this point I see and sense Jesus pouring love into him and then my husband is standing next to Jesus, with a smile and Jesus' arm around him. You have to understand, Jesus is a loving and ever present being.

Oh, yes, back to Monday, I was being bombarded with thoughts against my husband, I just kept saying no, I forgave him of that in the name of Jesus, and then another one would come. After the fourth one it stopped. I snickered to myself. Haha, I beat the enemy this time. Then Tuesday came and something my husband did really got to me because it showed me the corrupted him was still in operation. Fear started settling in because my feelings were hurt, but I tried to put them before the Lord. When we came home he retreated to his computer and I secluded to prayer in my room. Lord spoke to me and told me to go give him a kiss goodnight and say I love you. Really Lord? He replied don't wait and allow the enemy to put distance between you because of your emotions remember. Don't give him any weapons to use. You reap what you sow. Go sow some love. So I did. Surprisingly as I turned to leave he got up and hugged me. That's all I wanted and much more than what has been going on. I went to bed in peace. Wednesday morning came, I felt led to fast. I felt some distance in my husband and wondered why again. He left and I could feel the onslaught of emotions. I began to dwell on the things that had happened that night and the things that have been going on. I knew this was dangerous, but because I was so hurt the enemy used that as an open door, I couldn't fight it off and soon it had over taken my emotions causing me to feel great pain, bringing up more memories to dwell on, and then I started searching for more truth and found things that haven't yet been confirmed but lead to more suspicion and confusion, so my mind and heart went crazy trying to figure it all out and piece things together, which caused me to sink further into raw emotions of hurt, fear, confusion, jealousy, inferiority,and unfairness. These can be called demons. It can be there identities. They still have to bow to the name of Jesus. I was supposed to meet my coach that day and of course the maintenance guy and such started showing up so I couldn't meet with her. Another tactic of the enemy. Didn't want me getting to someone that could help me, so I got her on the phone. We discussed what I was feeling, my actions, the consequences that could happen from my actions,(because I was acting out of the flesh and operating out of the will of the enemy and not trusting in God. That's where the accountability lies, and most people don't understand this right now, but the enemy does.) Of course we prayed together and after hanging up I prayed the prayer of war fare calling each of those things out by name and putting the blood of Jesus between me and them. There is so much power in the blood of Jesus. The enemy has no power, no authority. He likes to trick people and that is all he can do. That's how he operates. We have to stay plugged into God to be able to operate in His wisdom, and knowledge, and love. We can be so easily blinded and influenced if we don't. There are so many more details I will have to break down and share piece by piece. So I am doing better and will continue in my quest until I have fully obtained all success.

Blessing Your Husband Day 5, Image Is Everything

I was listening to a testimony from a man that I cannot remember his name or the title of his book, but he talked about having an addiction to pornography for 9 years. He prayed and church pastors and members prayed for him and nothing seemed to help break his addiction, until he was finally able to receive a new understanding of his identity from God. He learned he, as a man was purposed to protect women, not lust after them. I found that to be some key information as I sought more knowledge and wisdom about a mans self image. Like I said, I could not remember his name or title of the book but I found some very important key points and examples in the Power of the Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian.

She writes, " How your husband see's himself as a man greatly affects your marriage and your lives together. You, as his wife, can play an enormous role in how your husband see's himself, because your prayers have great influence and power in his life. We women have no idea of the influence and effect we have on our husbands. Our rejection of them in any way can hurt them deeply and even ultimately beat them down. On the other hand, our open and gentle acceptance of them can encourage them to rise up and feel confident. As a wife, you may be feeling that you would certainly like the same kind of support from your husband that you are giving to him, but even if your husband doesn't pray for you in the same way- and many do not, so do not feel alone- God will reward you for your faithfulness to pray for him. Not only will you see answers to your prayers, but you will also sense a greater closeness with the Lord." ~ The Power of a Praying Wife, Stormie Omartian.

I have to say that men can be just as sensitive as women if not more. Be careful what you say to them and how you approach them. One, they do have a tendency to misconstrue our attempts to help them and comfort them. This is why it is so important to learn how to perceive and communicate with each other through patience and the willingness to forgive quickly. I had said some things to my husband over the years in anger and hurt, even jokingly. Some things were just references to the jokes and comments that were being made by himself. I had NO IDEA how deep he had buried those things in his heart and was allowing them to affect his own self image and confidence. He never told me how he felt. He just kept it inside and one day....POW! Blindsided with the truth of a hardness in his heart that had developed. I was shocked. I was more shocked that he refused my apologies. That's what happens with a hardness of heart. We take something into our hearts and let it sit there instead of handling it the right way and over time it turns us hard. We will discuss more of that topic later. I still asked my husband for forgiveness whether or not he would, because I truly was remorseful and because that is what the Lord ask us to do. If we have wronged someone we should ask for them forgiveness. It was another eye opener of how sensitive my husband was. That made me want to protect him more. It also showed me how strong he was because even though he held onto this hurt, he never treated me unkindly, until the enemy used it as weapon against me these many years later. That is also why its so important to reaffirm them with positive words, loving kindness, and prayer. You never know what is building up inside of them or how the enemy will use those things as weapons against you, don't give the enemy any tools. You have the opportunity to determine what bricks you are going to build up your husband with. That's what I am trying to get you to understand. We have been given a great power and opportunity regarding our husbands and even children.

Let's take 1 Corinthians 3:12-15 seriously;

12 If anyone builds on this foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay or straw, 13 their work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality of each person’s work. 14 If what has been built survives, the builder will receive a reward. 15 If it is burned up, the builder will suffer loss but yet will be saved—even though only as one escaping through the flames.

This verse causes us to take accountability for what we use to build up or tear down. The word of God gives us many instructions regarding the use of our words because words, spoken in faith, have the power of life and death. He has commanded us to choose life and speak with love and blessings. Let's bless the self image of our spouses. :))

Father, I ask you to reveal to my husband that "he is the image and glory of God" (1 Corinthians 11:7). and he is "complete in Him, who is the head of all principality and power." (Colossians 2:10). Give him the peace and security of knowing that he is accepted, not rejected by You. Free him from the self-focus and self-consciousness that can imprison his soul. Help my husband to find his identity in You. Help him to see his worth through your eyes. Enable him to see who You really are so he'll know who he really is. May his true self image be the image of Christ on his soul. Make my husband to be the man you created him to be. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen!

I am standing on this promise 2 Corinthians 3:18;

18 But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.

I pray it with thanksgiving saying...Thank you Lord that my husband is being transformed into the mirror image of Jesus, from glory to glory! Amen

(Think of it this way, if he becomes the image of God then he will love you like God! And His word says it can be done! We are created IN...HIS..IMAGE!)

How bout these..

I Declare my husband is predestined by the Father to be conformed to the image of His Son Jesus! Romans 8:29

My husband has put off the old man with his deeds, and has put on the new man who is renewed in knowledge according to the image of Him who ceated him. Colossians 3:9,10

Arise, shine, for your light has come! And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you.
Isaiah60:1

Blessing Your Husband Day 4, Who's Your DADDY?

I become more proud of my husband everyday as a father. I admit I was one that was always complaining about him not doing enough for his kids, not spending enough time with them, not disciplining them enough, not teaching them to respect me enough, not sacrificing enough. As I turned to the Lord in prayer asking Him to make my husband a better father, He started doing just that. He started teaching me that I needed to respect my husband and trust the Lord to operate through him, even when I didn't agree with my husbands ways. As I began respecting my husband as head of the house and his leadership, and submitting to his authority over my (I mean our) children, he started taking more of a leadership role. I don't have to yell, plead, or criticize. I just needed to allow him the room he needed to operate as himself, allow God to raise him up as a father, using the talents that was already provided in him. And yes, they differ from me. I am the aggressor, my husband is more passive, but for many years I have been out of line and out of order with the ways of the Lord. As He began to teach me and help me to correct myself, it has enabled Him to teach and correct my husband, as well as my children.

To give you an example, I often at times disciplined my children by yelling at them, that usually escalated to worse scenarios because then my husband would get upset with me because I am yelling and he thinks I am acting out of control. Now my blood pressure is rising and I am feeling disrespected and fearful that I am not controlling my children the way a parent should, and now their is a complete break down of communication and an atmosphere of strife and brokenness in the hearts and spirits of everyone involved. Besides the fact my husband and children have always had very quiet and gentle spirits and any yelling just tears them up. Me too when I am on the otherside. And yes, part of my tactics were learned behaviors and the fact that I didn't really want to follow through with disciplining them, so I would yell at them, demand, and threaten in attempts to motivate them into the outcome I wanted. Didn't always get my desired results, and usually ended up with them having less respect for me. Then I would just be mad and yelling at my husband, afterall, it's all his fault. Wrong! I have learned that I am not in control, I am not the one responsible for all the discipline, or the outcome. God is! Yup, it's His problem. I just needed to submit and follow His word and pray for my husband to be the kind of father GOD purposed him to be.

As I let go, I see my husband step up more and more to the plate. He is learning by trial and error just like we all do, but I see more and more of his strengths. See, he is more calm and patient, he approaches my children with a more gentle and comforting approach. He is a comforter and now that I understand that, I let him be. I cannot force him to be me, like I had tried in the past, and I thank God now that I can see that. I didn't want to be that kind of me.I can't believe that was me. Always hollering, complaining, nagging, and tearing my family down instead of building them up. Honestly I am broken hearted that I caused so much devastation in my family. But Jesus is the God of restoration and healing! He will teach us truth when we are willing to listen and obey and be blessed! Through my prayer and submission to God, my husband is now seeing the things I have had to deal with. At first he was like WHOA! Of course he wanted me to jump in, but I learned it was not my place and said no, this is for you to handle. My job is to support him, respect him, and acknowledge him. These teens are his to handle no matter what the outcome is. You know what. Its working. He is developing his strengths and talents and establishing order in our home God's way. He is teaching our children to respect me more, and there is much less strife in our household. I still have to remind them that mom still and will establish her authority too sometimes, but its not like it was, and I know when to turn to my husband now as well, and let him take over. Everyone is connecting more and smiling, it's becoming a safe environment, where everyone can be themselves. That's the way its supposed to be, but it had to start with praying and obeying DAD ( the Heavenly Father) and respecting and blessing our earthly father.

It just makes my flood gates want to pour open with thanksgiving to the Lord for what He has done, and its so much easier! It's not perfect,yet, but I will keep obeying my Lord and learning what I can to obtain more wisdom, I will keep praying for my husband so that he will be drawn more to the Lord and gain more understanding and wisdom. We are finally on the right path and it breaks my heart that so many homes are not able to operate in Gods purpose for family, because they don't know His word or how to. I have learned that the majority of fathers have a great desire to be a present and good father, a good provider. Being a failure as a father and provider is one of men's biggest fears. Stormie Omartian writes in The Power of a Praying Wife that the thoughts of failure and inadequacy are what cause so many fathers to give up, leave, become overbearing from trying too hard, or develop a passive attitude and fade into the background of their children's lives. (Sound like anyone you know? Can you say having a complaining, nagging, overbearing, angry wife, or one that pushes the father away causes the same issues to arise? We need to ask God to open our eyes to see their gifts and talents as well and accept them, affirm them as the fathers that they are. Be aware, men won't tell you this is what they are feeling either. They need to know that they are needed and important too!) Know our prayers can help redeem these situations as well.

"If they are tortured with doubt and burdened with a sense of responsibility, we can minimize these feelings with our prayers.Prayer can help them gain a clear perspective of what it means to be a good father, and open the door to Holy Spirit guidance on how to handle the parenting challenges" ~ Stormie Omaritian

Another fact is that men can be hurt by and become the molds of their own fathers. We can pray that God will help them to heal from the hurt of their fathers and draw them into spending more time in His presence, so they will learn to imitate Him and be healed of any misconceptions of what being a loving and involved father really is. Remember as wives, we have the power through prayer to pray changes into them and declare those things that are not in them to come into existence. I, for one, feel that my husband is still not as involved with me or his children as I feel is needed. Besides praying scripture I will continue to declare the opposite until I see the desired results manifesting (taking effect) in his being. I have finally begun to see suttle changes more and more, such as, I declare my husband is interested, affirming, verbally communicative, and involved with me and his children. I try to encourage and reward him as much as I can notice now so he will continue in these attributes. If I haven't affirmed him in a day or so I ask the Lord to open my eyes and show me what I am missing or what I can be appreciative of, or how can I bless him?

There is a really good prayer of healing and guidance for fatherhood in The Power of a Praying Wife but I would like to share these other prayers as I feel they are a little more direct about him being a father.

Let me just say too, that I am extremely thankful that my children's father is still in the home. That in itself is a miracle of God after everything that we have done to each other and been through, but that is the power and grace of God. TO HIM BE THE GLORY AND ALL PRAISE! I am also thankful that he has always been an excellent provider for me and my children. I did grow up without my dad in the home so I do know what its like. I refuse to accept that for my children. I DECLARE there will be no separation or legacy of divorce left to our children. I am breaking that generational curse right now! My children will live in the blessing and prosperity of the Lord! If you are a single mother reading this (or father) please know that you are not husbandless and your children are not fatherless. Turn to the Lord as He said He will be your husband and He will be the father of your children. Isaiah 54:13 says "All your sons (daughters) will be taught by the Lord, and great will be your children's peace!" Take hold of the promise and claim it! Speak it over your children and when they disrespect you and disobey you, go back to His word and promise and take your children to Him in prayer! Trust me, my kids know enough now that I threatened them just the other day to take them before the Lord. They were being so disrespectful and I had enough. I wasn't going to react in my old ways, and when I told them that, they shut up and changed their attitudes real quick. 2 Corinthians also says " I will be a Father to you, and you shall be MY sons and daughters, says the LORD ALMIGHTY!" You are not an orphan! Take hope! Malachi 4:6 says "He will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers.." Hold onto this one and don't let go of it! Keep confessing it with all your heart!

Now lets pray for our husbands;

Father, give my husband the grace to rule our house well, and teach our children submission with all dignity. I pray he submits himself to You and loves me as Christ loved the church. I thank You my husband rejoices in the wife of his youth and is still pleased to dwell with me and me alone! 1 Timothy 3:4, Ephesians 5:25, Proverbs 5:18 (A Wife's Prayer)

Thank You for Your favor on my husband's life because we are joined together. Give him wisdom to prioritize our lives and position him to be a wonderful provider.
Proverbs 18:22, 1 Timothy 5:8 (A Wife's Prayer)

Thank You that my husband is slow to speak and swift to hear what You are saying to him concerning our marriage and our children. Give his heart the desire to teach our children to love You and Your Word. I pray he creates a desire in the heart of our children to walk in Your ways. Keep him from those things that draw him away from You, things that produce death in families. James 1:19, Genesis 18:19, James 1:14

Thank You that my husband will not provoke our children to anger, but he tutors and trains them in the way they should go. I thank You my children will honor and respect him because he is a man of God. Ephesians 6:2,4 (Your children will be blessed for honoring their mother and father. Remember even if it doesn't reflect reality, you are praying the desired result.)

Thank You that my husband keeps his life submitted to the word of God and to prayer so he always has wisdom to lead our family. I pray he honors You for the hedge of protection You have placed around our lives. James 4:7, Job 1:10

I pray my children will see their father is a man of integrity who walks in righteousness in all that he does. Thank You that he is a strong example before our children, and for the sweet presence of Your Spirit who dwells in our home because of my husband's life. Thank You that my husband has taken his place as the priest of our home. 1 Kings 9:4, Timothy 4:12, Acts 2:2

Lord, my husband has been given the responsibility of training our children. Help him not to withhold correction when they need it. Give him wisdom in applying the rod of discipline. Thank You that when he disciplines them, he is rescuing their lives from hell. Your wisdom is necessary to raise our children. He will invest solid wisdom in their lives so our hearts can rejoice and we can make You glad, Father. Help us to train our children to use their mouths to speak what is right. Proverbs 23

You have granted wisdom in his fatherhood and blessed us in health, strength, submission, and obedience. The children and I are a delight to him and bring him praise and no burdens. Teach my husband to lead our household. May he sit with our children and teach them Your Word and Your ways as he lives and exemplary life, one that our children will honor, admire, and follow after. (A Wife's Prayer~ Pamela Hines)

Lord show my husband your ways and teach him your paths so that he can be a good husband and father. Guide my husband in your truth and teach him, for I know you desire to be his God and Savior. Psalm 25:4-5

Almost forgot this important one:

Lord, I pray for protection over my children and over our marriage. I invite You right now to build and establish our house, our family, and our marriage. I DECLARE that we will never be divided or torn apart. Give me and my husband great wisdom and revelation about how to raise our children. Help us to talk things through and be in complete unity, especially in the area of discipline and privileges. Let no issues of child rearing change his heart toward me or undermine our relationship. Give him wisdom and revelation about all aspects of child rearing and help him to be a great father to our children. In Jesus' name I pray.

There is so much more to this prayer. Please get the book for all the testimonies, guidance, and other prayers. The Power Of Prayer and the Deeper Issues of Marriage, Stormie Omartian

This is such an important topic. Fathers are more important and have a greater impact than they realize. Its time to wake up, stand up, and lift them up!

Blessing Your Husband, Day 3 Got Nuttin But Love For You Baby!

One version of scripture Proverbs 19:22 says "What a man desires is unfailing love." Only God's love is unfailing. We can bless our husbands by telling them of God's love, even quoting Jeremiah 31:3 "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving kindness." I like to make it a prayer of thanksgiving. "Thank you Lord for loving my husband with an everlasting love and drawing him unto Yourself with loving kindness." This prayer is important because a man cannot love if he doesn't know or accept love from God. He won't be able to love God, love himself, or love his wife. I love what Greg Smalley has to say about love. He states love is not chemistry and love cannot be generated."In reality, there is no love that comes from us. We are not the originators. God is. 1 John 4:7-8 says that love comes for God and love is God. In verse 19 it goes on to say that we love because God first loved us. The point is that I do not generate a single drop of love. It all comes from God. By receiving God, I receive His love. I can then open my heart and share it with others. Love feels good to me, but I am just passing it through from God to others. By making a conscious decision, I can pass love through to my spouse. It helps the process if I see her as God sees her." Or in our case, as God sees him (valuable and precious.)He goes on to say that if a heart is closed to God, it will be closed to their spouse.
(www.smalleymarriage.com)

John 15:13 says, "There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for one's friends." We will substitute the word friend for spouse here (even though they should be our friend as well). God put it on my heart that He wanted me to lay down my life for my husband. That meant all my hurt, my pride, my desires, expectations, etc...you name it! I believe and have discovered many other women have been called and are doing the same thing. Love is a sacrifice, and it hurts, but it's not without a reward because LOVE IS GOD! A man wants unfailing love, that means a love that is unconditional, forgiving, a love that always protects!(quite complaining and gossiping to your friends and family!)(guilty as charged on that one. :( A love that always trusts (and is trustworthy!). (and that one), always hopes, and always perseveres. (I got those down!) Let God fill your heart with love and good treasures for your husband. Remember love never fails. Love always conquers! Because....Love..Is...God!

Keep in mind if you pray for yourself and not him, you will never find the blessings and fulfillment you want. What happens to him happens to you, and you can't get around it. ~ Stormie Omartian ( The Power of a Praying Wife)

Let's love him through prayer:

Oh, Father, today let me just love him. Pour Your love into me in such a powerful and complete way that I am just bursting with You. Teach me how to pour Your love out over my husband. Father I ask You to place Yourself before my husband today. Lord please surround him and place men of God in His path that will love him, encourage him, support him, and be an example of You to him. Overwhelm him with your unfailing love. Let him see reminders that You are in relentless pursuit of him and that your passion for him will never fade. Lord, I ask You to surround him with You. Fill his morning, noon, and night with your presence. In The Name Of Jesus, Amen(Winning Him Without Words ~ Lynn Donovan and Dineen Miller)


Thank You for strengthening me to be available to my husband in order to meet his needs, and for binding us together in love. Because You have poured Your love into my husband, he loves me as you love the church. As an act of my will, I will submit to my husband and reciprocate Your perfect love toward him. Father, I thank You that I am my husband's gift from You. I love him and he loves me. The love we have for each other is Your love. This love is unconditional, it is faithful, it is loyal, filled with integrity and honor. It is self sacrificing. (This prayer you will want to keep praying and confessing daily until you see Gods power bringing it to pass in your marriage) Thank you for delivering him from worry, stress, and fear, and filling all the voids in his life with your love, power, purpose, and divine direction.

Thank You for delighting him and delighting in him, I pray You will do something phenomenal for him. Do it, Father, in a way so he knows it was only You. Thank You for touching him and allowing him to experience You in a real and living way.

Father, Your word instructs me to love my husband and, through my prayer, I manifest that love. You made me a wise woman. Therefore I build my house through prayer and thank You for helping me to maintain a strong foundation in You for my household. After You, my first concern is my husband and how I may please him. Thank you for continually drawing him near to Your heart. In Jesus' name, Amen.
(A Wife's Prayer ~ Pamela Hines)

Blessing your husband-Day 2

I learned a long time ago ( I often forget) that in order for someone to be promoted or receive certain blessings you have to bless your head. God is a God of order, so it pleases Him when we bless our husbands, bosses, church leaders, etc. I know, you may say or feel that your husband doesn't deserve it. The trick is praying your husband UP into your expectations. Act and pray like he deserves and eventually he will line up to that and act like he deserves it too! If you want to be promoted, promote him. You want to be blessed, bless him.You want to be honored,honor him.

I have also learned that men have a very strong need to feel like they have something for themselves, a reward for their hard work. Not feeling like they are always working to just give everything over to the family. You know, being sucked dry. Like me, you're probably saying, but he gets everything he wants. I work and sacrifice just as much, if not more than he does. Those are his kids! He should WANT to give to them and make the sacrifice for them! You have to believe that is their heart, it's just a matter of perception. Men have a greater need for rewards and encouragement. (we will talk more about that later) During this time I encourage you to lay down your pride and trust that the Lord will reward you.

Father, bless my husband with wealth and honor, that he may not lack in what he desires for himself. I pray my husband keeps his heart right in You so when Your Word enters his heart, it will produce godly results in his life. I pray he guards his heart from the worries of this age, the deceitfulness of wealth, and the desire for other things. I declare these things will not enter in and choke the Word making it unfruitful in his life, because You've kept his heart.~Ecclesiastes 6:2; Mathew 13:22

(This prayer was shared from A Wife's Prayer~ Pamela Hines)

Blessing your husband, day 1

DAY 1

Let's lay the foundation.
This verse meets your every need.
Pray this over yourself and your spouse as often as it comes to mind and your heart throughout the day, everyday.

Proverbs 3:5-7


"I thank you Lord for causing (husbands name) to trust in you Lord with all his heart.
DO NOT LET (husbands name) lean on his own understanding; thank you for causing (husbands name) to acknowledge you in all his ways, and making his path straight. DO NOT ALLOW (husbands name) to be wise in his own eyes; cause (husbands name) to fear you Lord and to shun evil."


When we trust in the Lord, we obey Him; When we obey Him, we are blessed by Him. As your husband begins to trust and submit to the Lord you will begin to see more of the blessing of the Lord and His hand moving in all aspects of your life. The bible says that fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and that wisdom leads to wealth, long life, and happiness. Do you see where I'm going with this? Let's get him walking on the straight path. Keep trusting GOD!